We love dogs around here. We also love jokes for kids. I can’t believe it took this long to combine the two!
Whether you’re a dog person or not, these jokes about dogs will surely make you pawget your problems. (Love a pun? Check out our dog puns).
Read, enjoy, have a good laugh, and then snuggle your dogger.
Printable Jokes about Dogs
Going for a hike or your favorite dog park? Print these jokes out and bring them along!
Easy Laughs with Funny Dog Jokes for Kids
- Why did the poor dog chase its tail? – He was trying to make both ends meet.
- What’s a dog’s favorite city? – New Yorkie.
- Why did the dog cross the road? – To get to the barking lot.
- Why are dogs like phones? – Because they have collar IDs.
- Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost? – Because Frost bites.
- Why are dogs terrible dancers? – Because they have two left feet.
- What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster? – He was Terrier-fied.
Dog Jokes One-liners
- A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.
- I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Apparently, it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man.
- I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.
- A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering.
- I know another dog who goes and sits in the corner every time the doorbell rings. He’s a boxer.
- Got myself a robot puppy. Dogmatic.
Dog Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leash. Leash who? Leash you could do is open the door.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dasum. Dasum who? Dasum cute dog.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pooch. Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me baby.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bow. Bow who? Not bow who, bow wow!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? How. How who? How will we get away from that mean dog?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you walk the dog for me?
Dad Jokes about Dogs
- What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? – He stole the show.
- What did the dog say to the sandpaper? – Ruff!
- What do you do if your dog chews up your dictionary? – Take the words out of his mouth.
- What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? – A best friend you can count on!
- What type of markets do dogs avoid?- Flea markets.
Dog Poop Jokes
I’m sure you’ve enjoyed these funny dog jokes so far but you know kids right? They love laughing about poop. I just couldn’t resist throwing in a few dog poop jokes. (I may have laughed a little while I put this list together.)
- How’s business for the pooper scooper? – It’s picking up!
- How much do you make at your job as a pooper scooper? – I don’t make anything, the dogs do it all!
- What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? – Doing their doodie.
- What do you call prank plastic dog poop – Shampoo.
Dog Birthday Jokes
In case you celebrate other family members too, here are some birthday jokes for the two-legged people in your house.
- Why was the dog sad on his birthday? – Because it was the first time anyone remembered in 7 years.
- How does a dog celebrate his birthday? – With a Paw-ty.
- What did the old zombie dog say when she got a birthday bone? – “My hip!”
Hot Dog Jokes
- What do you call a cold canine? – A chili dog.
- Why was the dog sweating so much? – She was a hot dog.
- Why did the dog stay out of the sun? – So he wouldn’t be a hot dog.
- What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween? – A Hallo-weenie!
- What kind of dog doesn’t bark? – A hushpuppy!
- What does a dog stay in when she goes camping? – A pup-up tent.
- Why do puppies leave trash everywhere they go? – They are part of a litter.
- Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side? – He’s in puppy love!
- What genre of music do young dogs like the best? – Pup music.
Is there a special type of puppy in your life? I scroll right down to the border collie jokes myself.
- Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes? – Because they’re too short.
- What do you call an overweight corgi? – Low-fat.
- How do corgis unlock doors? – By using a Corg-key.
- What’s a corgi’s favorite dessert to eat? – Strawberry Short-cake.
Shih Tzu Jokes
- What type of zoo has only one dog? – A Shih Tzu.
- What do you call a dog that hears voices? – Shih-Tzu-phrenic.
- What kind of car does a Shih Tzu drive? – A Shihtzubishi.
- What do you call a black Eskimo dog? – A dusky husky!
- What do you tell someone who says your dog is fat? – My dog’s not fat, she’s just a little Husky.
- What’s a corn farmer’s favorite type of dog? – A Husky. (Corn grows on husks.)
- What kind of dog loves using the internet? – A Cyber-ian Husky.
- Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes? – A Chi-ha-ha!
- What is a dog that sneezes? – A-choo-wawa.
- What did the chihuahua name his sailboat? – El Barko.
- What do you call a chihuahua that plays baseball? – A lil pitchy dog.
- What’s the hard part of walking 100 Chihuahuas – Carrying the giant purse!
- Why do Dachshunds hate warm weather? – It feels weird to be a hot dog.
- Why will only Dachshunds be remembered? – Because History is written by the wieners.
- What do you call a dachshund that likes frijoles? – A weenie beanie.
- Why is a noisy yappy dachshund like a tree? – They both have a lot of bark.
Golden Retriever Jokes
- What do you call a dog that does yoga? – A Foldin’ Retriever.
- What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? – A golden receiver!
- What do you call a dog that can do magic? – A Labracadabrador!
- Are dogs good at science? – Well, labs are.
- What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel? – He was a Labra-doorman.
German Shepherd Jokes
- What kind of dog is most like a cat? – A Purr-man Shepherd.
- Why dont German Shepherds write with dull pencils? – Because there’s no point!
- What’s a German Shepherd’s favorite musical instrument? – The dinner bell!
- What breed of dog goes after anything that is red? – A bulldog
- What do you get when you cross a bulldog with a computer? – Lots of bytes!
- What kind of dog likes taking a bath every day? – A shampoo-dle.
- Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? – Because you might step in a poodle.
- What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? – A cockerpoodledoo!
- What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with jelly? – The collie wobbles.
- Which type of dog is also a lamb? – Sheepdog.
- What noise does a sheepdog make? – Baaaaa…rk.
- What’s a dog’s favorite band? – The Beagles.
- What did the Beagles say to the garden? – Lettuce eat!
- What happened when the Beagle swallowed a firefly? – He smiled with de-light!
Border Collie Jokes
- What sort of dog does a vegetarian have? – A collie-flower.
- What do you get if you cross a dog with a film studio? – Collie-wood.
- Where do dogs like to surf?- Colliefornia!
- Why do people think border collies are such good listeners? – Because they act like they always HERD you.
For more silly fun, check out these books:
- Silly Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- Lots of Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- The Big Book of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link