Easy Laughs with Dog Jokes for Kids | Printable Included

We love dogs around here. We also love jokes for kids. I can’t believe it took this long to combine the two!

Whether you’re a dog person or not, these jokes about dogs will surely make you pawget your problems. (Love a pun? Check out our dog puns).

Read, enjoy, have a good laugh, and then snuggle your dogger.

If you love other animals too, you’ll want to check out at these animal jokes, cat riddles, turtle jokes, shark jokes, horse jokes, duck jokes, frog jokes, cat jokes, pet jokes, and chicken jokes.

Printable Jokes about Dogs

Going for a hike or your favorite dog park? Print these jokes out and bring them along!

Click here to get your free printable Dog Jokes

Easy Laughs with Funny Dog Jokes for Kids

• Why did the poor dog chase its tail? – He was trying to make both ends meet.
• What’s a dog’s favorite city? – New Yorkie.
• Why did the dog cross the road? – To get to the barking lot.
• Why are dogs like phones? –  Because they have collar IDs.
• Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost? – Because Frost bites.
• Why are dogs terrible dancers? – Because they have two left feet.
• What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster? – He was Terrier-fied.

Dog Jokes One-liners

• A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.
• I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Apparently, it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man.
• I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.
• A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering.
• I know another dog who goes and sits in the corner every time the doorbell rings. He’s a boxer.
• Got myself a robot puppy. Dogmatic.

Dog Knock-Knock Jokes

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leash. Leash who? Leash you could do is open the door.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dasum. Dasum who? Dasum cute dog.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pooch. Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me baby.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bow. Bow who? Not bow who, bow wow!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? How. How who? How will we get away from that mean dog?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you walk the dog for me?

Dad Jokes about Dogs

• What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? – He stole the show. 
• What did the dog say to the sandpaper? – Ruff!
• What do you do if your dog chews up your dictionary? – Take the words out of his mouth.
• What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? – A best friend you can count on!
•  What type of markets do dogs avoid?- Flea markets.

Dog Poop Jokes

I’m sure you’ve enjoyed these funny dog jokes so far but you know kids right? They love laughing about poop. I just couldn’t resist throwing in a few dog poop jokes. (I may have laughed a little while I put this list together.)

• How’s business for the pooper scooper?  –  It’s picking up!
• How much do you make at your job as a pooper scooper? –  I don’t make anything, the dogs do it all!
• What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? – Doing their doodie.
• What do you call prank plastic dog poop – Shampoo.

Dog Birthday Jokes

In case you celebrate other family members too, here are some birthday jokes for the two-legged people in your house.

• Why was the dog sad on his birthday? – Because it was the first time anyone remembered in 7 years.
• How does a dog celebrate his birthday? – With a Paw-ty.
• What did the old zombie dog say when she got a birthday bone? – “My hip!”

Hot Dog Jokes

• What do you call a cold canine? – A chili dog.
• Why was the dog sweating so much? – She was a hot dog.
• Why did the dog stay out of the sun? – So he wouldn’t be a hot dog.
• What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween? – A Hallo-weenie!

Puppy Jokes

• What kind of dog doesn’t bark? – A hushpuppy!
• What does a dog stay in when she goes camping? – A pup-up tent.
• Why do puppies leave trash everywhere they go? – They are part of a litter.
• Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side? – He’s in puppy love!
• What genre of music do young dogs like the best? – Pup music.

Is there a special type of puppy in your life? I scroll right down to the border collie jokes myself.

Corgi Jokes

• Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes? – Because they’re too short.
• What do you call an overweight corgi? – Low-fat.
• How do corgis unlock doors? – By using a Corg-key.
• What’s a corgi’s favorite dessert to eat? – Strawberry Short-cake.

Shih Tzu Jokes

• What type of zoo has only one dog? – A Shih Tzu.
• What do you call a dog that hears voices? – Shih-Tzu-phrenic.
• What kind of car does a Shih Tzu drive? – A Shihtzubishi.

Husky Jokes

• What do you call a black Eskimo dog? – A dusky husky!
• What do you tell someone who says your dog is fat? – My dog’s not fat, she’s just a little Husky.
• What’s a corn farmer’s favorite type of dog? – A Husky. (Corn grows on husks.)
• What kind of dog loves using the internet? – A Cyber-ian Husky.

Chihuahua Jokes

• Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes? – A Chi-ha-ha!
• What is a dog that sneezes? – A-choo-wawa.
• What did the chihuahua name his sailboat? – El Barko.
• What do you call a chihuahua that plays baseball? – A lil pitchy dog.
• What’s the hard part of walking 100 Chihuahuas – Carrying the giant purse!

Dachshund Jokes

• Why do Dachshunds hate warm weather? – It feels weird to be a hot dog.
• Why will only Dachshunds be remembered? – Because History is written by the wieners.
• What do you call a dachshund that likes frijoles? – A weenie beanie.
• Why is a noisy yappy dachshund like a tree? – They both have a lot of bark.

Golden Retriever Jokes

• What do you call a dog that does yoga? – A Foldin’ Retriever.
• What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? – A golden receiver!

Labrador Jokes

• What do you call a dog that can do magic? – A Labracadabrador!
• Are dogs good at science? – Well, labs are.
• What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel? – He was a Labra-doorman.

German Shepherd Jokes

• What kind of dog is most like a cat? – A Purr-man Shepherd.
• Why dont German Shepherds write with dull pencils? – Because there’s no point!
• What’s a German Shepherd’s favorite musical instrument? – The dinner bell!

Bulldog jokes

• What breed of dog goes after anything that is red? – A bulldog
• What do you get when you cross a bulldog with a computer? – Lots of bytes!

Poodle Jokes

• What kind of dog likes taking a bath every day? – A shampoo-dle.
• Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? – Because you might step in a poodle.
• What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? – A cockerpoodledoo!

Sheepdog Jokes

• What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with jelly? – The collie wobbles.
• Which type of dog is also a lamb? – Sheepdog.
• What noise does a sheepdog make? – Baaaaa…rk.

Beagle Jokes

• What’s a dog’s favorite band? – The Beagles.
• What did the Beagles say to the garden? – Lettuce eat!
• What happened when the Beagle swallowed a firefly? – He smiled with de-light!

Border Collie Jokes

• What sort of dog does a vegetarian have? – A collie-flower.
• What do you get if you cross a dog with a film studio? – Collie-wood.
• Where do dogs like to surf?-  Colliefornia!
• Why do people think border collies are such good listeners? – Because they act like they always HERD you.

For more silly fun, check out these books:

• Silly Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Lots of Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• The Big Book of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link