Funny Frog Jokes and Toad Jokes that Will Croak You Up

Funny frog jokes are sure to make you hoppy. These are perfect for a visit to the zoo, lake, or even the pet store! Print them out and enjoy them with your kids.

We’ve got you covered if you’re in the mood for a few more animal jokes! Check out these other collections: horse jokes, jokes about dogs, and chicken jokes. And you might like our frog puns too.

Frog Jokes

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Funny Jokes about Frogs

  • Why are frogs so happy? – They eat whatever bugs them!
  • What happens when two frogs collide? – They get tongue-tied!
  • How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? – Unhoppy.
  • What is a frog’s favorite sport? – Croaket.
  • Why did the frog say meow? – He was learning a foreign language.
  • Why did the frog go to the hospital? – He needed a “hopperation”.
  • What did the frog say about his favorite book? – Reddit, reddit, reddit.
  • What does a frog order at a restaurant? – French flies and a diet croak.
  • Did you hear about the short-sighted frog? – He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
  • Which frog has horns? – A bullfrog.
  • What happened when the frog’s car broke down? – He jump-started it.
  • Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? – He liked a good croak and dagger.
Frog Jokes

Toad Jokes

  • What would you call a frog that has parked illegally? – Toad.
  • What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak? – Morse toad.
  • Where does a witch’s frog sit? – On a toadstool.
  • What do you call a frog hanging over your head at Christmas? – Mistletoad.
  • What’s a toad’s favorite flower? – A croakus!
  • What do you get if you cross a toad and a dog? – A croaker spaniel!
  • Where do toads keep their treasure? – In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow.
  • What did the bus conductor say to the toad? – Hop on.
  • Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? – He had his own frog horn!
  • Where do toads leave their hats and coats? – In the croakroom!

Kermit the Frog Jokes

  • What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist? – Kermit the Fog.
  • What does Kermit say when he’s enjoying dinner? – Time’s fun when you’re having flies!
  • What year was Kermit born? – Leap year!
  • What is Kermit the Frog’s grandmother’s name? – Betty Croaker.
  • Why did Kermit the Frog’s stage play get a standing ovation? – He gave a ribbeting performance.
  • What did Kermit the frog say when he got to the top of the hill? – A muppet.
  • Why was the frog arrested? – Because it Kermitted a crime.

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