Funny Frog Jokes and Toad Jokes that Will Croak You Up

Funny frog jokes are sure to make you hoppy. These are perfect for a visit to the zoo, lake, or even the pet store! Print them out and enjoy them with your kids.

We’ve got you covered if you’re in the mood for a few more animal jokes! Check out these other collections: horse jokes, jokes about dogs, and chicken jokes. And you might like our frog puns too.

Funny Jokes about Frogs

• Why are frogs so happy? – They eat whatever bugs them!
• What happens when two frogs collide? – They get tongue-tied!
• How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? – Unhoppy.
• What is a frog’s favorite sport? – Croaket.
• Why did the frog say meow? – He was learning a foreign language.
• Why did the frog go to the hospital? – He needed a “hopperation”.
• What did the frog say about his favorite book? – Reddit, reddit, reddit.
• What does a frog order at a restaurant? – French flies and a diet croak.
• Did you hear about the short-sighted frog? – He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
• Which frog has horns? – A bullfrog.
• What happened when the frog’s car broke down? – He jump-started it.
• Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? – He liked a good croak and dagger.

Toad Jokes

• What would you call a frog that has parked illegally? – Toad.
• What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak? – Morse toad.
• Where does a witch’s frog sit? – On a toadstool.
• What do you call a frog hanging over your head at Christmas? – Mistletoad.
• What’s a toad’s favorite flower? – A croakus!
• What do you get if you cross a toad and a dog? – A croaker spaniel!
• Where do toads keep their treasure? – In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow.
• What did the bus conductor say to the toad? – Hop on.
• Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper? – He had his own frog horn!
• Where do toads leave their hats and coats? – In the croakroom!

Kermit the Frog Jokes

• What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist? – Kermit the Fog.
• What does Kermit say when he’s enjoying dinner? – Time’s fun when you’re having flies!
• What year was Kermit born? – Leap year!
• What is Kermit the Frog’s grandmother’s name? – Betty Croaker.
• Why did Kermit the Frog’s stage play get a standing ovation? – He gave a ribbeting performance.
• What did Kermit the frog say when he got to the top of the hill? – A muppet.
• Why was the frog arrested? – Because it Kermitted a crime.

Add your favorite frog joke to the comments.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

• Best Joke Books for 7-year-olds
• Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link