Funny Horse Jokes to Enjoy While You Gallop Along

Heading out to get in some horse time? We’ve rounded up a really funny list of horse jokes for kids.

You can get in a good laugh before heading to the stables or while you’re galloping along together. Do you think the horse will get the joke?

If you have a horstory of interest in horses, you probably like other animals too! We have a bunch of animal jokes: chicken jokes, frog jokes, turtle jokes, cat jokes, pet jokes, elephant jokes, and dog jokes.

Funny Horse Jokes for Kids

Bring these horse jokes for kids to class or to your next riding lesson! Everyone will love them.

• What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? – Sherbet.
• Where do horses go when they’re sick? – The horsepital.
• What’s black and white and eats like a horse? – A zebra.
• What kind of bread does a horse eat? – Thoroughbred.
• What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? – A night mare.
• Why do cowboys like to ride horses? – Because they’re too heavy to carry.
• What did the mother horse say to her foal? – It’s pasture bed time!
• Why do most horses look so fit? – Because they’re on a stable diet.
• How much money does a bronco have? – A buck.
• What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? – A neigh-bour.

• What ailment do horses fear most? – Hay Fever.
• What street do horses like to live on? – Main Street.
• What did the horse say after she fell over? – Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy-up!
• What’s the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride? – The ground.
• What do you feed a race horse? – Fast food.
• Why can’t horses dance? – They have two left feet.
• What did the mare tell her filly after dinner? – “Don’t forget to clear the stable!”
• Where do horses shop? – Old Neigh-vy.
• What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? – A seahorse.
• What is a horse’s favorite sport? – Stable tennis.

What is a horse’s favorite state? – Neighbraska.

• What do you give a sick horse? – Cough stirrup.
• How long should a horse’s legs be? – Long enough to reach the ground.
• What do you ask a sad horse? – “Why the long face?”
• What do young horses wrap their food in? – Aluminum foal.
• Why did the horse miss the jousting event? – He had the knight off.
• Why did the pony have to gargle? – Because it was a little horse!
• Which side of the horse has the most hair? – The outside!
• Why did the man stand behind the horse? – He was hoping to get a kick out of it
• What did the waiter say to the horse? – Can I get you a stable?
• Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding? – It got colt feet!

Related Post: Horse Riddles and Cow Puns

• What do you call a pony with a sore throat? – A little hoarse.
• What do you call a noisy horse? – A herd animal
• What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? – A horse is walking around bare foot.
• Who isn’t an upside-down horseshoe good luck for? – The horse who lost it!
• What type of horse has trouble keeping track of it’s Ipad? – An Appaloosa.
• Why did the horse cross the road? – Because somebody shouted hay!
• When does a horse talk? – Only whinney wants to!
• What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? – Macintosh Apples!
• Why do horses like to fart when they buck? – Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.
• Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? – She always said Neigh

How long should a horse’s legs be? – Long enough to reach the ground.

• What do you call a story about a runaway horse? – A tale of WHOA!
• When do vampires like horse racing? – When it’s neck and neck
• What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? – Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
• What kind of horse is the fastest? – A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower.
• What is a horses favorite song? – Watch Me (Whip / Neigh Neigh)
• Why did the skinny dog start eating hay? – The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse!
• Why don’t racehorses wear underwear? – Because it rides up on them!
• Why did the horse’s mouth open when it eats? – Because it had bad stable manners!

• How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm? – Pay him under the stable.
• Why was the horse naked? – Because the jockey fell off.
• What’s the difference between a horse and a duck? – One goes quick and the other goes quack.
• Where do Knights park their horses? – In a LanceLot
• Why did the man call his horse poison ivy? – Because he was scratched so often.
• Which route do crazy horses take through the woods? – The psycho-path.
• How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse? – He lays his cards on the stable.
• What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?- A mechanic
• What do you call a baby donkey?- A burrito!
• What did the mare tell her filly after dinner? – Clear the Stable.

Print your Horse Jokes

Print these horse jokes for kids and tuck them into your bag. You’ll have a good laugh ready.

Click here to get your printable Horse Jokes.

Add your favorite horse joke to the comments.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

• Best Joke Books for 7-year-olds
• Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link