Turtle Jokes for Kids that will Bring You Out of Your Shell
They may be slow but turtles definitely bring enormous fun and laughter to kids. Let’s add the funny turtle jokes to why they love turtles.
These jokes will make you and the kids feel shell-arious.
For more joke fun, check out our chicken jokes, dog jokes, shark jokes, bear jokes, pet jokes, cat riddles, and animal jokes.

Printable Jokes about Turtles
Print the jokes and use them in the lunch box. Or even better, take them along on your next aquarium trip.
Click here to get your printable jokes.
Funny Turtle Jokes for Kids
- What do you call a turtle chef? – A slow cooker.
- What kind of jokes do turtles tell? – Shell-larious ones.
- What do turtles use to communicate? – A shell-phone.
- What type of photos does a turtle love to take? – Shellfies.
- What does a turtle need to ride a bike? – A shell-met.
- Why did the turtle cross the road? – To get to the shell station.
- Why can’t a tortoise eat McDonald’s food? – Because it is too slow for fast food!
- What do you call a lesson on turtles? – A turtorial.
- What happens when your kids want to buy a tortoise? – You shell out a lot of money.
- What do you call an exceptionally large tortoise? – A Tur-tall.
Knock, Knock Turtle Jokes
If you like these, you’ll love the best knock, knock jokes for kids.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice turtle walk any faster?
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body home in that turtle shell?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah, who? Noah good joke about turtles?

Sea Turtle Jokes
- What kind of turtles are the easiest to find? -Green “see” turtles.
- What’s a sea turtle’s favorite game? – Beakaboo.
- What did the taco say to the sea turtle? – I like your shell.
- What do sea turtles do when one of them has a birthday? – They have a shell-ebration.
- What do turtles do best? – Slow dance.
Turtle Puns
Would you like more puns? Bee puns and dog puns are covered.
- I’m in turtle awe of her talent.
- You sturtled me!
- My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday. It tortoise nothing.
- You’re shell-arious.
- Wear your shell-met!
Share your favorite jokes about turtles in the comments.
For more giggly fun, check out these books:
- Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link