107 Funny Fish Jokes Get your Fisherman Laughing PRINTABLE

Vacation is coming near, and we want our kids to enjoy it as much as we do. So here’s a collection of fish jokes you can enjoy and add to your gill-ty pleasure.

For more water fun, check out some of our other joke collections: shark jokes, beach riddles, and beach jokes.

funny fish jokes for kids

Funny Jokes About Fish 

These fish jokes are great for a trip to the lake or aquarium or even admiring your fish tank.

  • How do you talk to a fish? – You drop it a line!
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fsh.
  • Why are fish so easy to weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
  • What kind of fish only comes out at night? – A starfish.
  • How do shellfish get to the hospital? –  In a clambulance.
  • Why don’t fish like basketball? – Because they’re afraid of the net!
  • Where does a fish keep its money? – A riverbank.
  • What’s the fastest fish in the lake? – A motor-Pike.
  • Why did the fish get bad grades? – Because it was below sea level.

What day of the week do all fish dislike the most? – Fryday.

  • ​Why do fish swim in schools? – Because they can’t walk.
  • Where can you find a fish in orbit? – Trouter space!
  • Did you hear about the oyster that went to the ocean disco? – He pulled a mussel.
  • Why did the vegan go along on the fishing trip? – Just for the halibut.
  • What did the fish say when he saw an old friend that that he hadn’t seen in ages? – Long time no sea.
  • Where do fish go to borrow money? – A loan-shark.
  • What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? – Swimming trunks.
  • Why do fish live in salt water? – Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • What’s the fish that makes this sound “ shhhhhhhhhhhhh”? – The fried fish.
  • What did the fish get on his math test? – A sea plus.
  • How many tickles will it take to make an octopus laugh? – Ten-tickles.
  • Why don’t fish like basketball? – Because they’re afraid of the net!
  • What do fish take to stay healthy? – Vitamin Sea.
  • Why did the fish blush? – Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  • Why aren’t there every any job openings at the fish company? – They’ve been scaling back.
  • What do whales have for dinner? – They eat fish and ships!
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fisually impaired
  • What did one fish say to the other? – Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.
  • Why are fish more clever than people? – Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?

Related post: Chicken Jokes for Kids

  • How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? – Clamouflage!
  • Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? – The bobber shop.
  • How can you tell the puffer-fish had too much salt at dinner? – He’s looking blow-ted
  • Why was the shark angry about leaving the restaurant early? – Because he couldn’t even fin-ish his meal.
  • What did the Mum shark say to the kid shark? – Watch that sharkasm, young man!
  • What do fish use to help them hear? – A herring aid!
  • Which musical instruments can catch fish? – Castanets!
  • Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? – He only had two worms.

Fish Dad Jokes

Dad jokes are so silly they make you roll your eyes. These dad jokes about fish are guaranteed to get a groan from the kids.

  • What would you call a fish wearing a tie? – So-fish-ticated.
  • What do you think is a pirate’s favorite fish? – Swordfish.
  • Where do fish sleep? – On the riverbed.
  • What do fish take to stay healthy? – Vitamin Sea.
  • Why are fish boots so warm? – They have electric eels!
  • What did the fish dating guru say to the hopeful sea bass? – “If you’re going for roe-mance, you’ll want to consider the caviar.”

Knock-knock Fish Jokes

Everyone loves a good knock-knock joke. Especially a fish knock-knock joke.

  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Bless you!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Artie Fish. Artie Fish who? Artie Fish-el Intelligence. 
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Fish-ious temper you have there, you need to clam down!

Jellyfish Jokes

And if you love jellyfish, these jellyfish jokes are just for you.

  • What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich? – A jellyfish.
  • What is the most envious fish? – The jelly-fish.
  • Have you heard the one about the jellyfish? – It’s a real no-brainer.
  • What language do jellyfish speak? – Gelatin.
  • What car does a jellyfish drive? – Invertible.

Salmon Jokes

  • What do you call a religious fish poem? – A Psalmon.
  • What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? – You get salmonella.
  • What is a fish’s favorite game? – Salmon Says!
  • Why don’t salmon watch cable television? – They prefer streams.
  • What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example? – A roe model.
  • Why will fish never take responsibility? – Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
  • What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light? – I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.

Tuna Jokes

  • What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? – You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
  • What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? – Autotuna.
  • What game show do fish love the most? – Name that tuna!
  • What’s better than a tuna sandwich? – A three-na sandwich
  • How do fish find their way in the dark? – They follow the light tuna.
  • What tv show starring Charlie Sheen do all fish love? – Tuna-half men.
  • What did one fatty tuna say to the other? – “We’re in this together, toro and toro.”
  • What do you call a singing fish? – A tuna.
  • What do you call a fish with two legs? – A two-knee fish.
funny fish jokes for kids

Catfish Jokes

  • What kind of fish eats mice? – A catfish.
  • Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean? – He thought he saw a catfish.
  • What do you use to catfish on the Internet? – You have to use clickbait.
  • What does a catfish chase after? A string ray!

Clownfish Jokes

  • What did the shark say after eating a clownfish? – That tasted a little bit funny!
  • Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got near the coral reefs? – They saw a clownfish.
  • What is a clown fish’s favorite artist? – Eminemone.

Cod Jokes

  • Who granted the fish’s wish? – The fairy cod mother!
  • What’s the head of the underwater mafia called? – The Codfather.
  • What did the fisherman say to the magician? – Pick a cod. Any cod.
  • What’s a fisherman’s favorite video game? COD.
  • What did the pet fish say when the cook served fish steak for dinner? – Oh my Cod!

Goldfish Jokes

  • What do you call a fish with lots of money? – A goldfish.
  • Where do goldfish love to travel? – Usually just around the globe.
  • What is the most valuable fish you can catch? – A goldfish.
  • What did the goldfish say when he got fed? – Tank poo.
  • How do you make a goldfish old? – You take away the g.
  • Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? – Now he’s a bronze fish.

Bass Jokes

  • What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? – A big-mouthed bass.
  • What do you call a fish that is not smart? – A dumb bass.
  • What kind of music do fish love to rave to? – Drum and bass.

Bait Jokes

  • What’s worse than reading a clickbait title? – Clicking on it.
  • What type of fish should you use to catch other fish? – Beta fish.
  • Why couldn’t the troll catch any fish? – Because other people took the bait.
  • How do you catch a Swedish fish? – With a gummy worm as bait

Flying Fish Jokes

  • What do you call a fish on a plane? – Flying fish.
  • What’s a pelican’s favorite sport? – Fly fishing!
  • Where does a fish end-up when it flies? – A magic carp.

Fisherman Jokes

  • What did the fisherman want? – A gillfriend.
  • What did the fisherman say to his friend while fishing? – He was feeling fin-tastic.
  • What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? – Let minnow if you get any.
  • What kind of musical instrument can a fisherman easily play? – Ac-cod-ian.
  • Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? – To the bobber shop.

Funny Fish Puns

  • If you’re going for roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
  • When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
  • The first book of the fish bible is called Craytion.
  • Surfing the net is great, unless, of course, you’re a fish.
  • Cod this be any punnier?
  • If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow!
  • I made some fish tacos last night. They just swam right past them

Printable Fish Jokes

Print your fish jokes and enjoy them as you relax with your favorite fisherman.

Click here to get your printable Fish Jokes.

Share your favorite funny fish jokes in the comments.

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