83 Funniest Shark Jokes for Kids and Shark Puns | Printable

Funniest Shark Jokes for Kids & Shark Puns with Printable

Do you have a shark lover in your life? The funny shark jokes and shark puns here are sure to be a hit!

Or maybe you have a kid who’s afraid of sharks. Sharks can be intimidating animals. They’re big, mysterious, and a little bit scary. Use these jokes and puns to lighten the mood around sharks and get a little silly to help remove some fear.

Funny Shark Jokes

Throw together a shark headband craft and these shark jokes for your next under-the-sea party!

• Where do sharks go on vacation? – Fin-land.
• Why won’t sharks eat clowns? – They taste funny!
• What do a shark and a computer have in common? – They both have megabites!
• How did the hammerhead shark do on his test? – He nailed it!
• Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus? – Because he knew he was well-armed!
• What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother? – “Not gill-ty!”
• What do sharks order at McDonald’s? – A quarter flounder with cheese.
• Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef? –  To get to the other tide.
• What is a shark’s favorite bible story? – Noah’s Shark.
• What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show? – Shark Trek.

Why do sharks live in salt water? – Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

• What do you call a shark in a bad mood? – Grumpy gills.
• Why don’t sharks like fast food? – Because they can’t catch it!
• Who is the most famous shark writer? – William Sharkspeare.
• What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys? -It got lockjaw.
• Why did the shark throw his clock out the window? -He wanted to see time fly!
• Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas? – Santa Jaws!
• What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? – Frostbite!
• How did the crazy shark become normal again? – Electro shark therapy.
• What do British sharks eat? – Fish and kids!
• What’s the Great White Sharks favorite candy? – The Jaw-Breaker!

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• What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework? – “My shark ate it!”
• What kind of sharks make the best pog players? – Slammerheads!
• How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready? – “Hot off the gill!”
• What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film? – Edward Scissorfins
• Why did the shark cross the road? – To get to the other tide!
• What was the sharks favorite B-52s song – Love Shark
• Why are sharks so patriotic? – They are marine fish
• What sort of fish operates on a sick shark? – A sturgeon
• What did the shark say to the whale? – What are you blubbering about!

• What do you call the stuff that gets stuck in a shark’s teeth? – Slow swimmers!
• What kind of shark is always gambling? – A card shark.
• What does a shark like to watch on tv? – Anything but Flipper.
• What did the shark say when something amazing happened? – JAWESOME!
• What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? – Do not consume if seal is broken!
• How does a shark greet a fish? – Pleased to eat you.
• What did the shark get on her math test?  – A sea-minus.
• What do you call it when a shark, a crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar? – A typical day in Australia.
• What do you call a shark that’s always singing? – A tuneful shark.
• What are a shark’s two most favorite words? – Man overboard.
• How do you make a shark laugh? – Tell a whale of tale.
• What do yuppie sharks like to drink? – jaw-va.
• What’s a baby shark’s favorite nursery rhyme? – Jack and Gill.
• What does a shark call a surfboard? – A serve board.
• What do sharks serve their guests at parties? – A sharkcuterie.
• How can you tell if two sharks are friends? They act chummy with one another.
• What did the shark say to the surfer? – “Come on in, the water’s fine!”
• What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food? – Don’t Stop Bleedin’

Shark Puns

These shark puns for kids are fin-tastic!

• There’s some-fin special about you!
• Stay jaw-some.
• No-fin compares to you, my dear.
• Nice to eat you. 
• Where’s my bloody dinner? 
• If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks. It costs an arm and a leg!
• The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed. Turns out it was a loan shark.
• Did you hear about the shark joke? It vanished into fin air.

Shark Dad Jokes

• What did the daddy shark say to the kid shark? – “Watch that sharkasm, young man!”
• Where do lonely dad sharks go to find companionship? – Sand bars.
• What do you call a Hammerhead shark who’s operating a drill rig – A Flathead Screwdriver.
• What do daddy sharks do when they have a big choice to make? – Chews wisely.
• What do you call a shark who wants to be by himself? – A loan shark.
• What is a shark’s favorite kind of sandwich? – Peanut butter and jellyfish!
• What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper? – Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
• What advice did the dad shark give his son? – “Go take a bite out of life!”
• I heard a swimmer shout “Help shark help!

What happened when the shark got famous? – He became a starfish.

• What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? – Shark absorbers.
• Who’s a shark’s favorite Star Wars character? – Chewbacca.
• Why can’t most sharks read? – They are not part of a school.
• What’s Thor’s favorite animal? – The Hammerhead shark.
• What do fish like to dress up as for Halloween? – Goblin sharks.
• How do sharks greet one another? – “Water you up to, mate?”
• How does a shark express disappointment? – “Jaw, man!”
• How do sharks find things online? They surf the fin-ternet.
• What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef? – Why are you casting me out?
• What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? An animal that talks your head off.
• What was the college student sharks favorite internet site? – Finsbook

Knock, Knock Shark Jokes

Check out our ultimate list of Knock, knock jokes for kids.

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Otto. Otto who? Otto be careful in the shark tank.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter be quick, the shark is coming.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kelp. Kelp who? Kelp me! There’s a shark.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carmi. Carmi who? Carmi get me from the shark!

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