Funniest Shark Jokes for Kids & Shark Puns with Printable
Do you have a shark lover in your life? The funny sharks jokes here are sure to be a hit!
Or maybe you have a kid who’s afraid of sharks. Sharks can be intimidating animals. They’re big, mysterious, and a little bit scary. Use these jokes to lighten the mood around sharks and get a little silly to help remove some fear.
Shark Joke Printable
If you’re heading to the beach or aquarium these printable shark jokes will be perfect to pack and bring along.
Funny Shark Jokes
- Where do sharks go on vacation? – Fin-land.
- Why won’t sharks eat clowns? – They taste funny!
- What do a shark and a computer have in common? – They both have megabites!
- How did the hammerhead shark do on his test? – He nailed it!
- Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus? – Because he knew he was well-armed!
- What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother? – “Not gill-ty!”
- What do sharks order at McDonald’s? – A quarter flounder with cheese.
- Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef? – To get to the other tide.
- What is a shark’s favorite bible story? – Noah’s Shark.
- What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show? – Shark Trek.
- Why do sharks live in salt water? – Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- Where do sharks go on vacation? – Finland.
- What do you call a shark in a bad mood? – Grumpy gills.
- Why don’t sharks like fast food? – Because they can’t catch it!
- Who is the most famous shark writer? – William Sharkspeare.
- What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys? -It got lockjaw.
- Why did the shark throw his clock out the window? -He wanted to see time fly!
- Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas? – Santa Jaws!
- What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? – Frostbite!
- How did the crazy shark become normal again? – Electro shark therapy.
- What do British sharks eat? – Fish and kids!
- What’s the Great White Sharks favorite candy? – The Jaw-Breaker!
- What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework? – “My shark ate it!”
- What kind of sharks make the best pog players? – Slammerheads!
- How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready? – “Hot off the gill!”
- What is a shark’s favorite smell? – Human blood.
- What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film? – Edward Scissorfins
- Why did the shark cross the road? – To get to the other tide!
- What was the sharks favorite B-52s song A: Love Shark
- Why are sharks so patriotic? – They are marine fish
- What sort of fish operates on a sick shark? – A sturgeon
- What did the shark say to the whale? – What are you blubbering about!
- What do you call the stuff that gets stuck in a shark’s teeth? – Slow swimmers!
- What kind of shark is always gambling? – A card shark.
- What does a shark like to watch on tv? – Anything but Flipper.
- What did the shark say when something amazing happened? – JAWESOME!
- What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? – Do not consume if seal is broken!
- How does a shark greet a fish? – Pleased to eat you.
- What did the shark get on her math test? – A sea-minus.
- What do you call it when a shark, a crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar? – A typical day in Australia.
- What do you call a shark that’s always singing? – A tuneful shark.
- What are a shark’s two most favorite words? – Man overboard.
- How do you make a shark laugh? – Tell a whale of tale.
- What do yuppie sharks like to drink? – jaw-va.
- What’s a baby shark’s favorite nursery rhyme? – Jack and Gill.
- What does a shark call a surfboard? – A serve board.
- What do sharks serve their guests at parties? – A sharkcuterie.
- How can you tell if two sharks are friends? They act chummy with one another.
- What did the shark say to the surfer? – “Come on in, the water’s fine!”
- What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food? – Don’t Stop Bleedin’
Shark Dad Jokes
- What did the daddy shark say to the kid shark? – “Watch that sharkasm, young man!”
- Where do lonely dad sharks go to find companionship? – Sand bars.
- What do you call a Hammerhead shark who’s operating a drill rig – A Flathead Screwdriver.
- What do daddy sharks do when they have a big choice to make? – Chews wisely.
- What do you call a shark who wants to be by himself? – A loan shark.
- What is a shark’s favorite kind of sandwich? – Peanut butter and jellyfish!
- What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper? – Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
- What advice did the dad shark give his son? – “Go take a bite out of life!”
- I heard a swimmer shout “Help shark help!
- How did they know the victim of the shark attack had dandruff? – They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
- What happened when the shark got famous? – He became a starfish.
- What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? – Shark absorbers.
- Who’s a shark’s favorite Star Wars character? – Chewbacca.
- Why can’t most sharks read? – They are not part of a school.
- What’s Thor’s favorite animal? – The Hammerhead shark.
- What do fish like to dress up as for Halloween? – Goblin sharks.
- How do sharks greet one another? – “Water you up to, mate?”
- How does a shark express disappointment? – “Jaw, man!”
- How do sharks find things online? They surf the fin-ternet.
- What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef? – Why are you casting me out?
- What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? An animal that talks your head off.
- What was the college student sharks favorite internet site? – Finsbook
Knock, Knock Shark Jokes
Check out our ultimate list of Knock, knock jokes for kids.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Otto. Otto who? Otto be careful in the shark tank.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter be quick, the shark is coming.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kelp. Kelp who? Kelp me! There’s a shark.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carmi. Carmi who? Carmi get me from the shark!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? A shark. A shark who? A shark who just ate your family and now I’m going to eat you.
- There’s some-fin special about you!
- Stay jaw-some.
- No-fin compares to you, my dear.
- Nice to eat you.
- Where’s my bloody dinner?
- If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks. It costs an arm and a leg!
- The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed. Turns out it was a loan shark.
- Did you hear about the shark joke? It vanished into fin air.
For more giggly fun, check out these books:
- Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link