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You are here: Home / Jokes for Kids / Best Pirate Jokes and Pirate Puns That Will Get Your Crew Chuckling

Best Pirate Jokes and Pirate Puns That Will Get Your Crew Chuckling

By Jillian | February 7, 2023
Filed under: Jokes for Kids

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We’ve collected the best pirate jokes and private puns we could find! How will you use them? Maybe you’re having a pirate party or just adding a little pirate fun to your regular day. Let us know in the comments.

You might also like some of our other funny jokes and puns: shark jokes, beach jokes, birthday jokes, Disney jokes, and car puns.

best pirate jokes

Print your Pirate Jokes

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Best Pirate Jokes

  • Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? – Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
  • How do pirates know that they are pirates? – They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
  • What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? – 8 pirates.
  • What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? – A rookie.
  • Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? – Because they can spend years at C.
  • How do pirates prefer to communicate? – Aye to aye!
  • What did the pirate wear on Halloween? – A pumpkin patch.
  • What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? – Aye matey years old!
  • What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? – High Cs.
  • How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap? – He bought it on sail.
  • How do you turn a pirate furious? – Take away the “p”.
  • What did the ocean say to the pirate? – Nothing, it just waved.
  • What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie? – Leeks.
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish? – Swordfish.
  • Why did the pirate cross the road? – To get to the second-hand shop.
  • What do pirates wear when it gets really cold? – Long Johns.
  • How did the pirate call his mate? – On his aye phone.
  • Why did the pirate give up playing golf? – Because he kept hooking the ball!
best pirate jokes

Pirate Puns

  • I’m a pirate, off to sea! It’s a plunderful life for me.
  • A pirate plunders the high seas. A pie-rat plunders the pantry.
  • The high seas are where me heart-y it be.
  • We set sail on the high seas at the kraken of dawn.
  • Watch out for pirate ships; they’re assailing vessels.
  • Pirates don’t need to go on vacation. They get all the arrr and arrr they need at work.
  • Pirates are obsessed with being at sea. They’re aqua-holics.
  • Aye-ll have my own ship schooner or later.
  • It’ll be nautical miles and miles before a pirate decides to return to the shore.
  • Retired pirates love yoga because of all the ex-sailing.
  • Seeing a pirate ship in person is truly oar-inspiring.
  • You can abso-loot-ley trust me with the treasure map.
  • All I Caribbean about is finding the treasure!
  • A fool and his booty are soon parroted.
  • I like my booty to be filled with looty.
  • That pirate is par-rotten to the shore!
  • The treasure is just a hop, skiff, and a jump away.

Add your favorite pirate joke to the comments.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

  • Best Joke Books for 7-year-olds
  • Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
  • Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
  • National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link

More Ways to Be a More Confident Parent:

  • SPRNG JOKESSPRNG JOKES
  • Fun Riddles for Teens with Answers (includes Printable!)Fun Riddles for Teens with Answers (includes Printable!)
  • Funny Riddles for Teachers with Answers: Perfect for the ClassroomFunny Riddles for Teachers with Answers: Perfect for the Classroom

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I'm Jill Riley. I have a son and a daughter (both in the tween years), a very handsome hubby and the laziest puppy ever!
Building confidence in other parents (and myself) is my mission.
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