We’ve collected the best pirate jokes and private puns we could find! How will you use them? Maybe you’re having a pirate party or just adding a little pirate fun to your regular day. Let us know in the comments.
You might also like some of our other funny jokes and puns: shark jokes, beach jokes, birthday jokes, Disney jokes, and car puns.
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Best Pirate Jokes
- Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? – Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
- How do pirates know that they are pirates? – They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
- What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? – 8 pirates.
- What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? – A rookie.
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? – Because they can spend years at C.
- How do pirates prefer to communicate? – Aye to aye!
- What did the pirate wear on Halloween? – A pumpkin patch.
- What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? – Aye matey years old!
- What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? – High Cs.
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap? – He bought it on sail.
- How do you turn a pirate furious? – Take away the “p”.
- What did the ocean say to the pirate? – Nothing, it just waved.
- What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie? – Leeks.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish? – Swordfish.
- Why did the pirate cross the road? – To get to the second-hand shop.
- What do pirates wear when it gets really cold? – Long Johns.
- How did the pirate call his mate? – On his aye phone.
- Why did the pirate give up playing golf? – Because he kept hooking the ball!
Pirate Puns
- I’m a pirate, off to sea! It’s a plunderful life for me.
- A pirate plunders the high seas. A pie-rat plunders the pantry.
- The high seas are where me heart-y it be.
- We set sail on the high seas at the kraken of dawn.
- Watch out for pirate ships; they’re assailing vessels.
- Pirates don’t need to go on vacation. They get all the arrr and arrr they need at work.
- Pirates are obsessed with being at sea. They’re aqua-holics.
- Aye-ll have my own ship schooner or later.
- It’ll be nautical miles and miles before a pirate decides to return to the shore.
- Retired pirates love yoga because of all the ex-sailing.
- Seeing a pirate ship in person is truly oar-inspiring.
- You can abso-loot-ley trust me with the treasure map.
- All I Caribbean about is finding the treasure!
- A fool and his booty are soon parroted.
- I like my booty to be filled with looty.
- That pirate is par-rotten to the shore!
- The treasure is just a hop, skiff, and a jump away.
Add your favorite pirate joke to the comments.
For more giggly fun, check out these books:
- Best Joke Books for 7-year-olds
- Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
- National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
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