Cuddly Pet Jokes the Whole Family Will Want to Snuggle

What type of pets do you have? Or what type of pets do you wish you had? This round-up of cuddly pet jokes and pet puns includes many different types of pets.

If you have a favorite pet we left out, share it in the comments, and we’ll try to add some jokes.

Also, check out our animal jokes, chicken jokes, and cat jokes.

Pet Jokes and Pet Puns

Pet Jokes for Kids

These pet jokes for kids are perfect when you already have a pet you love or if you’re looking to add one to your family.

  • Why are dogs terrible dancers? – Because they have two left feet.
  • What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster? – He was Terrier-fied.
  • What kind of kitten works at the hospital? – A first-aid Kit.
  • How does a cat sing scales? – Do-re-me-ow.
  • What happened when the frog’s car broke down? – He jump-started it.
  • Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? – He liked a good croak and dagger.
  • What day of the week do all fish dislike the most? – Fryday.
  • ​Why do fish swim in schools? – Because they can’t walk.

Cat Jokes and Puns

These cat jokes and cat puns are purrfect for cat lovers.

  • Why do cats always get their way? – They are very purr-suasive.
  • What color do kittens love the most? – Purrple.
  • What do you call a cat who lives at the beach? – Sandy claws.
  • What do you call a pile of kittens? – A meow-ntain.
  • What do you get when you cross a ball with a cat? – A furr ball.
  • How did the mom cat know she was pregnant? Her test was pawsitive.
  • How do cats end a fight? – With hiss and make up
Pet Jokes and Pet Puns
  • What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? – Good Mouse keeping
  • What does the cat say after making a joke? – “Just kitten!”
  • Why are cats so good at video games? -Because they have 9 lives, of course!
  • Good meow-ning!
  • It’s a cat-astrophe!
  • It’s meow or never
  • I’m a VIP – Very Impawtant Puss

Related Post: Horse Jokes

Dog Jokes and Puns

These dog jokes and puns will get you started then you can visit the full collections of Dog Jokes for Kids and Dog Puns for Kids.

  • Why did the poor dog chase its tail? – He was trying to make both ends meet.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite city? – New Yorkie.
  • Why did the dog cross the road? – To get to the barking lot.
  • Why are dogs like phones? –  Because they have collar IDs.
  • Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost? – Because Frost bites.
  • What kind of dog chases anything red? – A Bulldog.
  • What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? – He stole the show!
  • That dog was so cold, he was a pup-sicle!
  • Today has been ruff.
  • Here’s a new treat! Bone appétit!
  • Luke, I am your paw-ther!
  • We’re going to be best friends fur-ever!
Pet Jokes and Pet Puns

Fish Jokes and Fish Puns

If you’re fishing for a good joke or pun, you’ve come to the right place.

  • How do you talk to a fish? – You drop it a line!
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fsh.
  • Why are fish so easy to weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
  • What kind of fish only comes out at night? – A starfish.
  • How do shellfish get to the hospital? –  In a clambulance.
  • What did the fish say when he hit the wall? – Damn.

What kind of fish only comes out at night? – A starfish. 

  • What is a fish’s favorite game? – Salmon says!
  • What kind of fish belongs in the circus? A clown fish.
  • What is the best way to communicate with a fish? – Drop it a line
  • What do you use to catfish on the internet? Clickbait.
  • Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean? – He thought he saw a catfish
  • Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?
  • Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.

Turtle Jokes and Puns

No need to hide from these pet jokes that are shell-larious for turtle owners.

  • What do you call a turtle chef? – A slow cooker.
  • What kind of jokes do turtles tell? – Shell-larious ones.
  • What do turtles use to communicate? – A shell-phone.
  • What type of photos does a turtle love to take? – Shellfies.
  • What does a turtle need to ride a bike? – A shell-met.
  • What kind of sandwiches do turtles eat? – Sliders!
Pet Jokes and Pet Puns
  • Where do homeless turtles go? – To the Shellter
  • What did the taco say to the turtle? – I like your shell.
  • What kind of turtle should you never ask for directions? – False Map Turtles
  • Why is turtle wax so expensive? – You can’t get much out of their tiny ears.
  • I had a teacher named Mr. Turtle… he tortoise well.
  • A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up photography.
  • The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
  • If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

Frog Jokes

Hop away with a smile after reading these jokes about frogs.

  • Why are frogs so happy? – They eat whatever bugs them.
  • What happens when two frogs collide? – They get tongue-tied!
  • How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? – Unhoppy.
  • What is a frog’s favorite sport? – Croaket.
  • Why did the frog say meow? – He was learning a foreign language.
  • What do you call an illegally parked frog? – Toad!
  • What type of shoes did the frog lady like to wear? – Open-toad shoes.
  • How can you tell that a frog is angry? – When it is hopping mad.
  • What did the frog order at McDonald’s? – French flies and a diet croak
  • What is a frog’s favorite year?A leap year.
  • The short-sighted frog took a trip to the hopthalmologist.
  • My car got toad and I’m not hoppy about it.
  • It’s a very special day toad-ay.

Add your favorite pet joke to the comments.

Print your Pet Jokes and Pet Puns

Here are some printable pet jokes and pet puns. You can use them for a pet-themed birthday party or to drop a few hints about a new pet coming to the family.

Click here to get your Pet Jokes Printable.

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