78 Udderly Amazing Cow Puns and Cow Jokes PRINTABLE

Are you ready to be amoosed by these cow puns and cow jokes? The laughter you’ll hear after telling these jokes will be moosic to your ears.

You might also like our farm animal joke collection.

Cow Puns

Moo’ve over bee puns, the cow puns are udderly fantastic!

• The steaks are high.
• I have some real beef with that guy.
• I got the mooves like Jagger.
• Milk it for all it’s worth.
• I am not amoosed.
• And then I told my therapist that I feel seen, but not herd…

I am udderly in love with you!

• Not as mooch as I love you.
• Déjà Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
• ‘Mooo’ve over
• I know it’s udderly ridiculous!!! But its just grazy talk
• There ain’t calf some terrible puns on here.
• An udder day, an udder dollar.

• That is one legen-dairy cow.
• If that cow keeps mooing, we’ll have to press the moo-te button.
• That cow is a regular cow-median.
• I don’t see any cows! They must be ca-moo-flaged!
• It’s a long time since I herd such nonsense!
• Farmers don’t need to worry about taxes. They have the best ac-cow-tants.
• When the going gets tough, the tough get ‘moo-ving’.
• It’s moosic to our ears.

Related Post: Horse Jokes and Horse Riddles

• Holy cow, that’s amazing!
• The ‘moo’-re, the merrier!
• Moo-ve over, I need some space.
• Let’s milk this opportunity for all it’s worth.
• In the moooood for some laughter?
• Life is udderly fantastic!
• Home is where the ‘herd’ is.

• Just a simple misSTEAK!
• The early bird catches the worm, but the early cow catches the grass.
• You can ‘cow’nt on me.
• The key to success? ‘Moo-deration’ in all things.
• Mooo-ry Christmas!
• When life gives you lemons, make le-mooo-nade.
• When cow graduate, they get a ‘moo’-ster’s degree
• Love you like no udder
• A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.

Cow Jokes

Jokes can connect us quickly and bring joy to any situation. These cow jokes are great for when the steaks are extra high.

• Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns? – Because he butchered every joke.
• What did the cow confess to his therapist? – “I feel seen but not herd.”
• Why was the cow so afraid of messing up? – Because the steaks were high.
• How do cows say “thank you” for dinner in Spanish? – Moo-chas grass-ias.
• What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? – A milk dud.
• What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? – It’s pasture bedtime!

• What did one dairy cow say to the other? – Got Milk?
• How do you count cows? – With a cowculator!
• What happens when you try talking to a cow? – Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
• Where do cows eat lunch? – In the calfeteria.
• What do you call a cow going though an earthquake? A milkshake.
• Why can’t cows wear shoes? – Because they lactose.
• Why was the cow afraid? – He was a cow-herd.
• How did the cow know he was noble? – He was a Sir Loin.

What do you call a sleeping cow? – A bull dozer.

• Why did the cow jump over the moon? – Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
• What do you get from a pampered cow? – Spoiled milk.
• Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows? – They were trying to beef up security.
• What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? – The Daily Moos.
• What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? – Hound beef.
• What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? – A baaaaaaad mooooood.
• What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? – Udder nonsense.
• What is a cow’s favorite type of play? A moo-sical!
• Why do cows tell each other jokes? – To keep themselves a-moo-sed.
• How do you make Swiss cheese? – Use milk from a holey cow.
• Why did the cow look so confused? – He was having deja-moo.

• Why did the cow ask for a telescope? – He wanted to see the Milky Way.
• Why are cows such great dancers? – They have all the best moooves!
• What did the cow tell the butcher? – Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
• Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? – At McDonald’s.
• What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? – Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
• What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth? – Decalfinated.
• What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? – Laughing stock.
• Where did the cow spend all its money? – At the cow-sino.
• What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? – Milk of Amnesia.
• Why won’t cows join the police force? – They refuse to participate in steak-outs.
• Where would you find a cow with no legs? – Right where you left it.
• Why don’t cows have money? – Because the farmers keep draining them dry.
• How did the farmer find his lost cow? – He tractor down!
• When cows get sick what do you call it? Hay Fever