123 (not so scary) Halloween Jokes for Kids PRINTABLE

I started this year putting jokes into the lunch boxes. They have gone over so well with M and M (especially the knock-knock jokes, pumpkin jokes, and candy jokes).

I decided to round up some extra special jokes for the month of October.

Do you have any guesses on what the theme is?

You got it. Halloween jokes for kids. Fun right?

Ghost jokes, vampire jokes, mummy jokes, monster jokes, witch jokes, skeleton jokes… the funniest Halloween jokes around!

M and M love Halloween. What’s not to love? Scary storytelling, spooky pretend play, and, of course, all the candy!

I know these jokes are going to be a huge hit.

Get Your Printable Halloween Jokes for Kids

You can write these spooky jokes on a napkin or the back of a juice box. Or you can use the printable Halloween Jokes for Kids provided below.

I think I’ll do a mix of both this month. Having the printable ready will make it easier for those days I’m rushed.

Update: I’ve heard from a few joke lovers that these work great for handing out along with a piece of candy to the trick-or-treaters.

Click here to print these jokes.

Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids

These not-so-scary Halloween jokes for kids are downright funny. Enjoy a good laugh while you wait for the tricker treating to begin.

• Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? — It had no guts.
• What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? — STRAW-berries.
• What do birds say on Halloween? — Twick o Tweet.
• What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn? — That costume is a-MAZE-ing.
• What candy do you eat on the playground? — Recess pieces.
• Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? — He was already stuffed.
• What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat? — Brain food
• Why did the zombie skip school? — He felt rotten.
• Why did the witch take a nap? — She needed to rest a spell.
• How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? — With a pumpkin patch!
• Which key opens a haunted house? — A spook-key!
• What did the bat say to the other bat? –Want to hang out?
• Why are there fences around cemeteries? — Because people are dying to get in.
• How do you get a werewolf to stop chasing you? — Throw a stick and say, “fetch!”
• What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween? — Winnie the Boo!
• Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? — No, they eat the fingers separately.
• What kind of streets do zombies like the best? — Dead ends
• What do birds give out on Halloween night? — Tweets
• What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? — Hope it’s Halloween.
• What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? — Pumpkin Pi.
• How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? — You use a pumpkin patch.

• Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie? — Because it had great plots.
• Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? — The crossing gourd.
• What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? — Candy corneas.
• What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? — Bam-BOO!
• When do cows turn into werewolves? — During the full mooooooooon.
• What’s a werewolf’s go-to pickup line? — Howl you doin’, good lookin’?
• Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers? — No, they eat the fingers separately

Skeleton Jokes

These jokes about skeletons will be perfect for tickling your funny bone.

• How do you make a skeleton laugh? — Tickle its funny bone.
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? — Because he had no BODY to go with.
• Who won the skeleton beauty contest? — No body.
• What did the skeleton wear to the Halloween party? — A human costume.
• Why did the skeleton run away? — Because a dog was after his bones.
• How do you make a skeleton laugh? — Tickle her funnybone

• Why didn’t the skeletons cross the road? — They had no guts
• Why don’t they play music in skeleton church? — They don’t have organs!
• What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? — The trom-BONE!
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? — Spare ribs.
• What do skeletons say before eating? — Bone Appetite.

Mummy Jokes

Who loves an adorable mummy? Me! These jokes about mummies are my favorite.

• Why is it safe to tell a mummy your secret? — It’ll keep it under wraps.
• What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music? — Wrap music.
• What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? — Masking tape.
• Where do mummies like to swim? — The Dead Sea.
• Why don’t mummies take time off? — They’re afraid to unwind.

Vampire Jokes

Take a bite out of these vampire jokes.

• Why do people like vampires so much? — Because they are FANGtastic.
• What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? — A blood orange.
• Where do vampires eat their lunch? — At the casketeria.
• What is Dracula’s favorite ice-cream flavor? — Vein-illa!
• Where does Dracula keep his money? — At the blood bank
• What boats do vampires travel in? — Blood vessels
• What do you give a vampire when he’s sick? — Coffin-drops.

• How does Dracula stay fit? — He plays bat-minton!
• How can you tell a vampire has a cold? — He starts coffin
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? — A Neck-tarine.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? — Fangs-giving
• What does the vampire’s Valentine say? — You’re just my blood type.
• How are vampires like false teeth? — They both come out at night.

Witch Jokes

These witch jokes will put a spell on your little ones.

• Why did the witches cancel their baseball game? — They couldn’t find their bats.
• What does a cool witch ride instead of a motorcycle? — A Brrrrrr – oomstick.
• Why do witches wear name tags? — So they will know which witch is which.
• How do you make a witch itch? —  Take away the W
• What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
• What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? — Spelling.
• What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? — Mas-scare-a.
• What makes trick-or-treating with twin witches so challenging? — You never know which witch is which!

• What are two witches living together called? — Broommates.
• What do witches ask for at a hotel? — Broom service
• What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? — A sand-witch
• What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? — Spelling
• What do witches put on their hair? — Scare spray
• What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? — She flew off the handle
• Why does a witch ride a broomstick? — So she can make a clean getaway.
• How do witches play loud music? — On their broom boxes.

Monster Jokes

Our Halloween jokes for kids list would not be complete without a few good monster jokes.

• What kind of monster loves to disco? — The boogieman.
• What is the best way to speak to a monster? — From a long distance away!
• What do monsters turn on in the summer time? — The scare conditioner.
• How does Frankenstein get around town? — Monster truck!
• Who do monsters buy cookies from? — Ghoul scouts
• Why did the monster’s team lose the baseball game? — Their bats flew away.
• What do you do with a green monster? — Wait until it’s ripe.
• Why was there no food at the end of the monster party? — Because everyone was a goblin
• Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? — His ghoul-friend.
• What kind of monster is the best dancer? — The boogie man.

Ghost Jokes

Ghosts are a favorite part of Halloween. The ghost jokes will ensure a little boo in your day.

• What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car? — He puts on his sheet belt.
• Where do baby ghosts go during the day? — Day-scare centers.
• What kind of roads do ghosts haunt? — Dead ends.
• Why don’t ghosts like rain? — It dampens their spirits.
• What do ghosts serve for dessert? — I Scream
• What is a ghost’s favorite food? — Spook-ghetti.
• What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? — Boo-jeans.
• Why do ghosts like sales? — They’re bargain haunters!
• Why are ghosts bad liars? — Because you can see right through them

• What game do baby ghosts like to play? —Peek-a-Boo!
• What did the Kleenex say to the ghost? — Put a little boo-pie in it!
• What does a panda ghost eat? — Bam-BOO!
• How do you know when a ghost is sad? — He starts boo-hooing.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite play? — Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
• How do ghosts wash their hair? — With sham-boo!
• What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? — He is mist.
• What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? — Whipped scream!
• What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee? — A boo boo
• What did one ghost say to the other ghost? — “Do you believe in people?”
• What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car? —Puts on his sheet belt.
• What was the chicken ghost’s name? — Poultrygeist.
• Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? — They have a lot of spirit!
• Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? — It didn’t have a haunting license.
• What room will you never find in a ghost’s house? – A living room.

Halloween Riddles

Halloween riddles are a perfect pair for Halloween jokes for kids. Get more Riddles for Kids and Fall Riddles for Kids.

• When is it bad luck to see a black cat? — When you’re a mouse.
• How do you spell candy in 2 letters? — C and Y. (C-and-y)
• One room is left out of a ghost’s house. What room is it? — The living room.
• The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it? – Coffin
• I am a body with a leg, an arm and a head, but I don’t have flesh or eyeballs. How is that possible? – I’m a skeleton. 

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

Get more Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes.

• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me my Halloween candy?
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive Halloween!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Dont cry! I’m just a Halloween trick or treater!
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut worry it is just a Halloween joke!
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
• Knock Knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in.
• Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood!!

For more giggly fun after you’ve read these Halloween jokes for kids, check out these books:

• Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link

If you loved these Halloween jokes for kids, check out the Fall Jokes or Christmas Jokes!

Do you know any Halloween jokes for kids? Add them in the comments.