113 Funny Jokes about Pumpkins Perfect for Kids and Adults

Fall is such a wonderful time of year. One of the best parts of fall is PUMPKINS!

These pumpkin jokes will add to all the pumpkin fun. We’ve got jokes about pumpkin pie, pumpkin patch jokes, and even Jack-o-Lantern jokes. 

Since we’re talking about fall, check out these fall jokes, fall riddles, and Halloween jokes. 

Print your Pumpkin Jokes for Kids

Are you heading to a pumpkin patch this year? Print these pumpkin jokes to bring along!

Click here to print pumpkin jokes

Jokes about Pumpkins

These pumpkin jokes for kids are perfect for September, October, and November!

• What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? – Squash.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? – Pulp fiction.
• Why did the pumpkin take a detour? – To avoid a seedy part of town.
• What did the pumpkin say to its carver? – Cut it out!
• What do you call a group of pumpkin besties? – #SquashGoals.
• Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school? – The Crossing Gourd.
• What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? – Use apples instead.

• What do pumpkins eat at the movies? – Pulp Corn.
• What’s orange and goes choo-choo? – A Pumpkin in Train-ing.
• What are gourds afraid of? – Things that go Pumpkin the night.
• What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? – Go bungee gourd jumping.
• Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? – They have no hands to knock on the door.
• Why was Cinderella not very good at tennis? – Because her coach was a pumpkin.

Are you looking for a fun pumpkin spice joke? We’ve got one!

Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday? – Pumpkin Spice.

• How did the winter squash pay for things? – It used pumpkin bread.
• Why do pumpkins do so bad in school? – Because they had all their brains scooped out
• Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? – They have no hands to knock on the door.
• What’s orange and faster than a speeding train? – Super Pumpkin.
• What did the pumpkin say when he was asked how he was feeling? – I’m vine, thanks for asking!
• Who did the pumpkin run away from? – Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother!
• What day of the week do pumpkins dread the most? – Squash-urday!
• What vegetable does a pumpkin become when an elephant stands on it? – Squash!
• What did the pumpkin say at the end of Halloween? – Good-pie everyone!
• What did the gardener say when all of his squash went missing? – Something pumpkin is going on here!
• When is an orange not an orange? – When it’s a pumpkin!
• What do you say when you meet a big pumpkin with sharp teeth? – See you later!
• How are pumpkins like cats? – You’ll find them by the door when you get home!

• Why did the pumpkin cross the road? – Because it fell off the wagon!
• Who is the leader of all pumpkins? – The Pumpking
• What kind of animal loves pumpkins? – Orange-atans.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? – Pulp fiction.
• Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road? – It had no guts!
• What did one pumpkin say to the pumpkin who asked where the patch was? – Ah, a talking pumpkin!
• How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? – On vine-yl.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Western? – The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
• What did one Pumpkin say to the other? – “Happy Hollowing!”
• What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? – A mushy romance.

Did you eat too much pumpkin pie? We have just the pumpkin joke for you.

• What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? – You’ll get autumn’y ache.

• What are jack-o-lanterns afraid of? – Things that go pumpkin in the night!
• What is black, white, orange and waddles? – A penguin carrying a pumpkin!
• What did one pumpkin say to the other? – Cut it out!
• What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin carver? – Oh my Gourd!
• When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? – When you drop it, then it’s squash.
• Where does a pumpkin preach? – From the pulp-it.
• Why did the pumpkin take a detour? – To avoid a seedy part of town.
• What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? – Hollow-een.
• What do surfers say on Halloween? – Gourd vibes only, bro.
• Why are pumpkins so orange? – Syracuse is their favorite team.
• Where do pumpkins hold meetings? – The gourdroom

Jack-o-Lantern Jokes

Get out the carving knife, the pumpkin for carving, and these jack-o-lantern jokes!

• Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid? – It had no guts.
• Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart? – A candle makes them bright.
• Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? – Because he’s empty-headed.
• What do you call an athletic pumpkin that plays a lot of sport? – A jock-o-lantern!
• What does a jack-o-lantern have nightmares about? – The local Pumpkin Chunking Competitions.
• How did the jack-o-lantern win the STEM competition? – A light suddenly went on in his head!
• Why are they named Jack-o-lanterns? – Because Jill rolled down the hill!
• What did the pumpkin say to the jack-o-lantern? – Got a light?
• What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball? – Michael Gourdan.

Pumpkin Pie Jokes

We had to include some extra yummy pumpkin pie jokes in our pumpkin jokes for kids.

• What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? – Your teeth.
• What do you get if you divide the pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter? – Pumpkin Pi.
• What did the pumpkin pie say after a big meal? – That was filling!
• What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? – Good-pie everyone.

Pumpkin Spice Jokes

More pumpkin spice jokes? Of course! Our pumpkin jokes for kids wouldn’t be complete without them.

• Why do zombies love the fall? – Because everyone has pumpkin spice on the brains!
• What do you call an autumnal pop star? – Pumpkin Spice!

Pumpkin Patch Jokes

What’s more fun than a trip to the pumpkin patch? Taking some pumpkin patch jokes with you!

• How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? – With a pumpkin patch.
• Why did the witch paint her toenails orange? – So she could hide in the pumpkin patch!
• What does a pirate jack-o-lantern wear? – A pumpkin patch!
• Who comes to the field when a pumpkin is sick? – Patch Adams

Pumpkin Dad Jokes

• Why was Cinderella bad at football? – Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
• What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? – A life-gourd.
• What is black, white, orange, and waddles? – A penguin with a pumpkin.
• What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? – Hollow-een.
• What did the pumpkin say when he was asked how he was feeling? – I’m vine, thanks for asking!
• How are pumpkins like cats? – They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.
• What do you call a pretty pumpkin? – Gourdgeous.
• What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? – You look a little sick.
• How do gourds get to so strong? – By pumpkin iron.
• What kind of gourd grows on trees? – Plumkins.
• Why were the two pumpkins so close? – They had deep roots

Pumpkin Puns

Life is gourd when you have the perfect pumpkin pun for your fall activity. We also have some great fall puns and corn puns.

• Go big or gourd home
• Beauty is in the pie of the beholder
• I’m a bit of a country pumpkin.
• Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
• Life is gourd.
• Time to get smashed!
• When in doubt, gourd it out.
• “Have a gourd time on Halloween.”
• We have nothing but gourd intentions.
• There’s a big difference between yoga and pie-lattes.
• Unless it’s pumpkin spice, I don’t give a frappe.
• Pumpkin spice and everything nice!
• I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts. It was an Ouija gourd.

• Pumpkin spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
• Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.
• Pumpkin some iron at the gym!
• I’m a pun-king.
• We’re just a couple of country pumpkins.
• Hey, gourd-looking!
• Don’t gourd breaking my heart.

Pumpkin Riddles

• If you buy a big one of these then you surely will not starve as what’s inside can feed many and they’re also good to carve. What is it that you’re buying? – A pumpkin
• Once alive, now I am hollow. Although dead, I still smile. – Pumpkin
• You surely will not starve As what’s inside can feed many And they’re also good to carve. What am I? – Pumpkin
• I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand inside pumpkins – Candle
• You do this well and carve it right you’re sure to give someone a fright – Jack-o-lantern
• I’m made of pumpkin and spice but not everything nice, I prefer ghosts and ghouls and anything cruel. I can cool you down after the hottest time ever, you can figure me out without having to be clever. – Month of October

Pumpkin Knock knock

• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Things that go pumpkin the night!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it’s almost Halloween?
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Jack. Jack who? Jack o’ lantern!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pie. Pie who? Pie really love you.
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice who? Time to pumpkin spice up the night!

Add your favorite pumpkin jokes for kids to the comments.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

• Best Joke Books for 7-year-olds
• Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link