Eye Puns and Eye Jokes

Bring a quick laugh with you to your next eye exam. With these eye puns and eye jokes. You will surely eye-deer the friendly staff.

If you like this collection of printable jokes, check out all of our jokes for kids.

Eye Puns

These eye puns bring eye humor into focus.

• The eye doctor told me I needed glasses. I didn’t see that coming.
• How eye-ronic.
• Oh, eye see what you did there.
• Eye didn’t see that coming.
• Eye’ve heard enough.
• Omg, that joke was so cornea.
• I just saw a golfer crying his eyes out…He’s going through a rough patch!
• An eye doctor who is obsessed with Apple products is called an Doctor.
• I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t cut it. Now, I’m just a seamstress.

Related Post: Tooth Jokes

• An optometrist’s child is, without a doubt, the apple of their eyes.
• Eye’m loving it! the eye doctor squealed when he had his first McDonald’s.
• The optometrist lost most of his patients because he wouldn’t stop cracking cornea puns!
• An optometrist’s students are actually his pupils.
• The eye doctor easily passed his eye exam because of his high Eye-Q.
• The optometrist was brought to court since he was the only eye-witness.
• The eye doctor always takes the elevator. He hates the stares.

• Don’t peek while eyebrows my feed, said the eye doctor to her nosy friend.
• Do you know why programmers have perfect vision? – Because they can C++.
• Did you hear about the webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain? It’s a site for sore eyes.
• My nephew told me that he’s never had vision insurance. I told him he really should look into it.
• I think everyone should get a book about Braille. It can be really handy.
• The eye doctor shouted at the naughty student, Go and sit in the cornea.
• That’s how eyeroll.
• Eyes feel very lonely when they are eyes-olated.
• I broke my glasses yesterday. I barely look forward to buying a new one.

Bad puns are how eye roll, said the optometrist to his annoyed patient.

• I don’t understand why eye puns are always overlooked.
• I got some salt in my eye. Now it’s see salt.
• Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
• Eye didn’t know you were that funny!
• My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall. She’s an Opthemallogist.
• Bad puns are how eye roll.
• When you’re with your cross-eyed friend, do you ever wonder if they’re seeing someone else?
• I accidentally put my contact lenses in the wrong eyes, now I have a twin vision.

Related Posts: Good Morning Jokes

• I don’t normally surf the Internet, but when I do eye browsers
• My eye surgeon was really sharp – he had a great eye for detail.
• Eye don’t mean to brag, but my puns are a sight to behold.
• Optometry is an eyedealistic career for people with a good eye for things.
• I make a lot of jokes about eyes.. You could say I have vitreous humor.
• Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes. Dark, isn’t it?
• I don’t understand why eye puns are always overlooked.
• I’ve been trying to find puns about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn’t see any

Eye Jokes

Share these eye jokes with the receptionist at the optometrist. They’ll think you’re spec-tacular.

• How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? – One… or Two?!
• What do you call it when an apple user looks you in the eye? – iContact!
• Where is our eye situated? – Between the H and the J.
• What had been the excuse of the lens to the cop for speeding? – Sir, I have been framed.
• What kind of games do frames like to play? – Tag.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fishually impaired!
• When is a lens does not happen to be a lens? – Once it actually becomes aphakic.
• What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes? – You feel silly in Heinz sight!
• What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? – A ‘do-you-think-he-saurus.’
• What has four eyes and a mouth? – The Mississippi
• What do you say if they only have one eye? – “Aye, captain!”

What did the right eye say to the left eye? – “Between you and me, there’s something that smells.”

• What happens when the retina cries? – you get retinal tears
• What is an Irish persons favourite organ? – eyeee
• What game do frames play? – tag
• “A guy was in specavers the other day….guess who he bumped into?? – Everyone!!”
• How do you pay for Progressive Addition Lenses (PAL)? – PayPAL
• Why did the cross-eyed teacher quit her job? – She couldn’t control her pupils.
• For what reason will not the optometrist learn jokes? – Because, he had heard that it would be breaking the eyes.
• Where are they going to send poor light? – To prism.
• What is going to happen when you end up splitting a prism? – You allow all the prsimers to escape.
• What is a deer without any eye called? – No eye-dear.

• What was the sexy eyelashes told by the Latino cornea? – Eye carumba.
• Why didn’t the optometrist evacuate during the hurricane? – The optometrist wanted to examine the eye of the storm.
• here does the optometrist go on vacation? – Paradise Eye-land.
• Why don’t optometrists use tape measures? – They’re really good at eyeball-ing it.

Related Post: Knock knock Jokes

• What is similar between an eye doctor and a teacher? – Both of them like to test pupils.
• For what reason did the eyes not like wearing glasses? – He went on requesting them to lens some cash.
• What happens to be the most preferred musical band of eyes? – The Black Eyed Peas.
• Why do optometrists live so long? – Because they dilate (die late).

Share your favorite eye-catching joke or pun in the comments.