53 Valentine Jokes and Riddles for Kids | PRINTABLE

It’s the time of year for an extra hug and a quick message of love. In the first part of this post, you’ll find printable Valentine jokes and riddles.

In the second part, you’ll find Valentine jokes for kids on printable cards to color.

Whichever way you like your jokes, we’ve got you covered.

You might also like our candy jokes, student & teacher jokes, and spring jokes.

• What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? – Be my Valen-slime!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who just got a Valentine!
• What’s the most loving vegetable? – Lettuce because it has a heart.
• What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? – I’m sweet on you.
• What did the stamp say to the envelope? – I’m stuck on you.
• What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel? – I’m nuts about you.
• How do ghosts say I love you? – I love boo!
• What did the paper clip say to the magnet? – I find you very attractive.
• What did the lamp say to the light bulb? – I love you watts.
• Why does the pencil love the calculator? – He can always count on it.

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? They are very sentimental.

• What did one sheep say to the other sheep? – I love ewe.
• Where did the hamburger take his date? – To the meatball.
• Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? – He stole her heart.
• What did one bee say to the other bee? – I love being with you, honey.
• What kind of Valentine candy is never on time? – Chocolate.
• How did the two prunes confirm their dinner plans? – They said it was a date.
• What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep? – You’re not so bad.
• What is the French cat’s favorite Valentine? – Chocolate mousse.
• What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride? – Be my Valenstein.
• What did the elephant say to his Valentine? – I love you tons!
• Which of Santa’s reindeer loves Valentine’s Day? – Cupid.

Related post: You Color My Heart Valentine Card

• What promise be heard in the night? – Owl be yours.
• What did the hamburger buy his girlfriend? – An onion ring.
• What did the chef give his daughter on Valentine’s? – Hugs and quiches.
• Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable? – They have a heart.
• What did the caveman give his son on Valentine’s? – Ughs and kisses.
• If your aunt runs away to get married, what can you call her? – Antelope.
• What do you call romance in a fish tank? – Guppy love.
• What did one oar say to the other oar? – How about a little row-mance?
• Do you have a date for Valentine’s? – Yes, it’s February 14th.
• What did the strawberry say to the cantaloupe? – You’re one in a melon.
• What do you call a very small valentine? A valentine!
• What did the boy bat say to the girl bat? You`re fun to hang around with.

Valentine Riddles for Kids

Valentine jokes and riddles are such a fun way to connect and share a giggle.

• You can touch me. You can break me. I can be stolen or given away. What am I? A heart.
• I can be round, square, or heart-shaped. I can be white or dark. I can be big or small. On Valentine’s Day, I am loved by all. What am I? – Chocolate.
• I have a bow and arrow, but I’m not a hunter. What am I? – Cupid.
• What travels around the world but stays in one corner? – A valentine stamp.
• What costs nothing but is worth everything, weighs nothing but lasts a lifetime, that one person can’t own but two can share? – Love.
• I am a nine-lettered word and rhyme with perfection; I am yet another name for love. What am I? – Affection.
• I connect two people but only touch one. What am I? – A wedding ring.
• I can be red, pink, yellow, orange, or white, but I’m not a crayon. I smell nice, but I’m not perfume. I am given a lot on Valentine’s Day, but I’m not candy. What am I? – A rose.
• I come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. I’m seen only once a year. I reveal true feelings, and I’m almost always flat. What am I? – A Valentine’s day card.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Have you started getting ready yet? We are sticking with candy-free Valentines again this year!

Jokes have been going over so well at our house (Knock, Knock jokes are still the favorites), so I decided to make funny Valentine’s Day cards using some special Valentine’s jokes.

Funny Valentine’s Day Card Jokes

These are the jokes that appear on the Valentine Joke Cards. Enjoy!

• What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? Stick with me, and you’ll go places.
• What did the paintbrush say to the paint? I love you with all my art.
• What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
• What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.
• What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
• Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? Because he wanted sweet dreams.
• What is a vampire’s sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.
• What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflower
• What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses!
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

Get your St. Patrick’s Day Jokes now – so you’re ready for the next fun holiday.