Funny Valentine’s Day Cards – Printable Joke Cards for Kids

Valentine’s day is right around the corner. Have you started getting ready yet? We are sticking with candy-free Valentines again this year!

Jokes have been going over so well at our house (Knock, Knock jokes are still the favorites), so I decided to make funny Valentine’s Day cards using some special Valentine’s jokes.

You might also like our candy jokes, student & teacher jokes, and spring jokes.

Funny Valentine's Day Cards -printable Valentine's Joke cards

How to use these Funny Valentine’s Day Cards

These Valentine’s jokes for kids make perfect printable Valentine’s Day cards. Print the sheet on white paper and let your kids color in the hearts. Or use colored paper (maybe red or pink) so that all that’s left is to cut out the cards and fill out names. For sturdier cards, use card stock.

Click here to print your joke cards

Funny Valentine’s Day Card Jokes

  • What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you’ll go places.
  • What did the paint brush say to the paint? I love you with all my art.
  • What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
  • What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.
  • What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
  • Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? Because he wanted sweet dreams.
  • What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny!
  • What is a vampire’s sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.
  • What kind of flower do you never give on Valentines day? Cauliflower
  • What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses!
  • What did the boy bat say to the girl bat? You`re fun to hang around with.
  • What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
Valentine Jokes for Kids

More Valentine Jokes for Kids

You can use these Valentine’s day jokes in your little one’s lunch box or as the perfect match to valentine’s day candy to hand out the class.

Print them as is, or write the jokes on a napkin. Just a little extra proof that somebunny loves them.

Click here to get your printout of Valentines Jokes

  1. What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? Be my Valen-slime!
  2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who just got a Valentine!
  3. What’s the most loving vegetable? Lettuce because it has a heart.
  4. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I’m sweet on you.
  5. What did the stamp say to the envelope? I’m stuck on you.
  6. What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel? I’m nuts about you.
  7. How to ghosts say I love you? I love boo!
  8. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
  9. What did the lamp say to the light bulb? I love you watts.
  10. Why does the pencil love the calculator? He can always count on it.
  11. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? They are very scentimental.
  12. What did one sheep say to the other sheep? I love ewe.
  13. Where did the hamburger take his date? To the meatball.
  14. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? He stole her heart.
  15. What did one bee say to the other bee? I love being with you, honey.
  16. What kind of Valentine candy is never on time? Chocolate.
  17. How did the two prunes confirm their dinner plans? The said it was a date.
  18. What did the girl sheep say to the boy sheep? You’re not so baaaad.
  19. What is the french cat’s favorite valentine? Chocolate mousse.
  20. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride? Be my Valenstein.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

Print your St. Patrick’s Day Jokes now – so you’re ready for the next fun holiday. 


  1. Thanks for sharing all of the kid’s jokes. I needed some just like this, so your site made it easy to find a bunch for a 9 yr old child I tutor. =)

  2. I love these valentines cards! they are exactly what we were planning to make, but your printables are super fab so we are using them instead. thanks so much can’t wait to explore your site further.

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