107 Teacher and Student Jokes Get the Whole Class Laughing

When students and teachers come together, magic happens. Mixed in with the excitement of learning are moments of downtime. Use these teacher and student jokes to make those moments count.

These jokes about teachers and students are the perfect addition to any classroom. 

While we’re on the topic of school and jokes for kids, here are a few more joke collections you’ll love: School Appropriate Jokes, Science Jokes, Exam Jokes, Spelling Jokes, and Math Jokes. 

Teacher Jokes

These teacher jokes are great for letting the kids loosen up. They might also be good in the staff lounge.

• Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? – Because his class was so bright!
• How is an English teacher like a judge? – They both give out sentences.
• Why did the teacher go to the beach? – To test the water.
• Which school teachers have the greenest thumbs? – The kinder-garden teachers.
• What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance? – Absent-minded.
• Why did the music teacher need a ladder? – To reach the high notes!
• Why was the music teacher sad? – He had lots of trebles!
• What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? – Lots of blood tests.
• What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction? – Instagrammar.
• What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? – Pi.

What did the teacher say about the pizza student? – There’s mushroom for improvement!

• What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? – Summer!
• Where do math teachers like to go on vacation? – Times Square.
• What did the ghost teacher say to the class? – Look at the board, and I’ll go through it again!
• What is the difference between a teacher and a train? – The teacher says, “Spit your gum out,” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
• What do you call a teacher without students? – Happy.
• Why did closing her eyes remind the teacher of her classroom? – Because there were no pupils to see.
• Why did the math teacher think the geometry book was so adorable? – Because it had acute angles.
• What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? – Expla-nation.
• Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? – She couldn’t control her pupils!
• What does a Math Teacher climb for fun? – A Geometry!

• Did you know old math teachers never die? – They just lose some of their functions!
• On the first day of school, what did the teacher say were her three favorite words? – June, July, and August.
• Why don’t math teachers sunbathe? – Because they can use sin and cos to get a tan.
• How do you comfort a grammar teacher? – Say… “They’re, there, their.”
• Why do teachers fart in class? – Because they are not private tooters.
• What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? – Bio-degraded.
• What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you? – Pick them up and roll them back.
• Where did the music teacher leave her keys? – On the piano.
• What do you call a music teacher with problems? – A trebled man!
• Teacher: I will always tell you to follow your dreams, but I’ll never let you sleep in class!
• Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? – Because she could not control her pupils!
• Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? – Because it was overbooked!

Related post: You might also like riddles for teachers.

• Why did the Biology teacher break up with the Physics teacher? – There was no chemistry.
• Why do math teachers have their desks at the corner of the room during winter? – It’s always 90 degrees there.
• What do you call a Hogwarts teacher who’s been made redundant? – Severance Snape.
• If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach? – Trigonometry. There’s a lot of sin involved.
• Why did the teacher turn the lights on? – Because her class was so dim.
• Why did the teacher write on the window? – Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!
• What is a teacher’s favorite snake? – A pi-thon.
• My teacher told me to stop acting like a know-it-all. – So, I decided to give ignorance a try.
• What do you call a person who keeps talking after everyone’s lost interest? – A teacher.
• What do you call a teacher who had too much Taco Bell? – A tooter.

• What is an English teacher’s favorite cereal? – Synonym toast crunch.
• What is a trigonometry teacher’s favorite animal? – A Hippopotenuse.
• Why did the dog do so well in school? – Because he was the teacher’s pet.
• What are ten things a teacher can always count on? – Their fingers.
• What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher? – A programmar.

Teacher Puns

• A globe means the world to a geography teacher.
• The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. She got off to a rocky start.
• My English teacher used to quote Lord of the Rings to us. She used to say, “you shall not pass”

Student Jokes

Here’s an awesome list of funny student jokes.

• Why did the boy eat his homework? – Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
• What do you call a group of friends who love math? – Alge-BROS.
• What are ten things a student can always count on? – Their fingers.
• What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? – No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all. 
• Why did the student eat his homework? – He didn’t have a dog!
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? – Because she wanted to go to high school.

Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane? – To achieve a higher education. 

• How did the student get straight A’s? – He used a ruler!
• Why did the student wear glasses during math class? – Because it improves di-vison!
• What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket? – Smartie pants.
• How do you know that you have been in college too long? – Your parents are running out of money!
• Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor? – The teacher told him not to use tables.
• What do computers snack on? – The microchip.
• What is a teenager who never grows called? – Constantine.

Teacher and Student Jokes

These teacher and student jokes are extra funny. They would be perfect for a teacher and student to tell together.

• Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? – Student: Not really.
• Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have? – Student: Big hands!
• Teacher: What is the shortest month? – Student: May, it only has three letters.
• Teacher: Answer my question at once. What is 7 plus 2? – Student: At once!
• Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school? – Student: I don’t know. – Teacher: Correct!
• Teacher: What are two pronouns? – Student: Who? Me?
• Teacher: Didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line? – Student: I tried, but there was someone already there!
• Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at John’s exam. – Student: I hope you didn’t either.
• Teacher: Why was WW2 so slow? – Student: Because they were Stalin.
• Teacher: Make a sentence with the words “defense, detail and defeat”. – Student: “When a horse jumps over the fence, the feet go before the tail.”

Teacher: Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? – Student: Na.

• Student: I really don’t think I deserved a zero on this test. – Teacher: I agree with you, but that is the lowest mark I could give you.
• Teacher: Little Johnny has 10 cents, 2 dollars, and another 7 cents. How much does he have? – Student: Clearly, a money problem.
• Teacher: Why are you late for school? – Student: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
• English Class Teacher: “One day, we will be corruption-free. Which tense is it?” – Student: “Future impossible tense.”
• Math Teacher: Parallel lines have so much in common. – Student: Too bad they’ll never meet.

Jokes about School

This list of jokes about school will get the students and teachers laughing together.

• What did the circle say to the triangle? – I can see your point!
• Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary? – Thesaurus-Rex
• Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? – At the bottom.
• Why are witches good at writing? – They are good spellers.
• Why wouldn’t the elephant use the computer? – He was afraid of the mouse.
• What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? – One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
• Why are the early days of history called the Dark Ages? – Because there were so many knights.
• Why did the pioneers cross America in covered wagons? – They didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train!
• Who’s the king of the classroom? – The ruler.
• Why was Anne Boleyn’s ghost always chasing after Henry VIII? – She was trying to get ahead.

What kind of pencil did Shakespeare write with? – 2B.

• Where did Nicholas Romanov II get his coffee? – Tsarbucks.
• What did the left eye say to the right eye? – Something between us smells.
• What did they drink on the Titanic? – Sanka!
• If April flowers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? – Pilgrims!
• Why are witches good at writing? – They are good spellers.
• What did one penny say to another penny? – We make cents.
• What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? – Time to run!
• Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? – The “C”
• Why do magicians do so well in school? – They’re good at trick questions.
• What does a book do in the winter? – Puts on a jacket.
• What’s the longest word in the dictionary? – Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the first letter and the last.
• What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes? – Keep trying until you get a reaction.
• How do bees get to school? – They ride a school buzz.

Add your favorite Teacher and Student jokes to the comments.