103 Sports Jokes, Sports Puns and Riddles PRINTABLE

Where is the coolest place you go on the weekend? If you have a little team spirit it’s to watch your favorite sporting event.

These hilarious sports jokes for kids are the perfect thing to bring along.

You might also like your school jokes.

Sports Jokes for Kids

Let’s tee up a few good sports jokes for kids!

• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? – A stick.
• What is a ghost’s favorite position in soccer? – Ghoul keeper.
• What is a cheerleader’s favorite color? – Yeller!
• What is a cheerleader’s favorite food? – Cheerios!
• Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? – Because she’s always running away from the ball.
• When is a baby good at basketball? – When it’s dribbling!
• Why did the basketball player go to jail? – Because he shot the ball.
• Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? – If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
• Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City? – Yankee Stadium.

What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? – The fence.

• What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? – One steals watches, and one watches steals.
• When should baseball players wear armor? – When they’re playing knight games.
• What did the baseball glove say to the ball? – “Catch ya later!”
• What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? – He waits for it at the next stop.
• What is the hardest part about skydiving? – The ground!
• What are the rules for zebra baseball? – Three stripes, and you’re out.
• Why are baseball games at night? – The bats sleep during the day.
• Why are some umpires chubby? – It’s their job to clean their plates.
• Which baseball player holds water? – The pitcher.
• What lights up a soccer stadium? – A soccer match!

• What tea do football players drink? – Penal-TEA!
• How did America steal the name for football? – They grabbed it and ran.
• What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? – The fence.
• What has 18 legs and catches flies? – A baseball team.
• Why did the ballerina quit? – Because it was tu-tu hard!
• How do football players stay cool during the game? – They stand close to the fans.
• What is an insect’s favorite sport? – Cricket!
• Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? – In case he got a hole in one!
• What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball? – Get out of the way!

Why do basketball players love donuts? – Because they can dunk them.

• What do you give a hockey player when he demands to be paid? – A check.
• Why are hockey rinks always rounded? – Because if they were 90 degrees, then the ice would melt.
• Why are hockey players good at making friends? – It’s probably because they’re pretty quick at breaking the ice.
• How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? – FORE!
• Why didn’t the skeleton play golf? – His heart wasn’t in it.
• What is a golfer’s favorite number? – Four!
• In what sport do waiters do really well? – Tennis, because they can serve.
• Why is tennis such a loud sport? – The players raise a racquet.
• What is something you can serve but never eat? – A volleyball!

Related Posts: Golf Jokes, Basketball Jokes, and Jokes for Teens

• How quiet is a bowling alley? – So quiet that you can hear a pin drop.
• Why is a good bowler a bad baseball player? – Because he gets so many strikes.
• How do baseball players keep in touch? – They touch base every once in a while.
• Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? – They aren’t allowed to travel.
• What do you call a player that constantly misses slam dunks? – Alley Whoops.
• Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? – The tooth fairy.
• Which sport is always in trouble? – BADminton.
• What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move? – The splits!
• Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbars? – All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.
• Why couldn’t the dog run in the marathon? Because he wasn’t a part of the human race!

Sports Puns

These sports puns will serve up a smile.

• I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
• I love the fall. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series. Just like the Dodgers.
• If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
• Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
• Soccer is a strange game. It’s a bunch of people running away from their goals.
• In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
• I used to play tennis, but I kept forgetting to serve. It was just a fault of mine.
• You know what they say, you can’t spell ‘athlete’ without ‘eat’. Time to hit the gym… or the buffet.

My tennis coach always tells me to serve with a smile, but I prefer using a racket.

• I have a love-hate relationship with dodgeball. I love dodging the ball, but hate getting hit by it.
• It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
• I’m pretty sure my running shoes are trying to run away from me.
• My doctor told me to stop playing football. Apparently, tackling people on the street is not socially acceptable.
• Sports may not build character, but they definitely reveal it…and mine is pretty hilarious.
• The only exercise I get is running away from my problems.
• I don’t need an alarm clock, my muscles ache enough to wake me up.
• I wanted to join the water polo team, but couldn’t find a waterproof horse.
• Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
• Did you hear about the gymnast who went missing? She just did a backflip and disappeared.
• I’m not saying I’m the best at darts, but I do have a point.

• I used to be an athlete…and then I discovered Netflix.
• If volleyball players are called spikers, does that make the coach a spikeologist?
• The marathon is like a romantic call – it takes a lot of effort, but the final stretch is always worth it.
• I used to play handball, but I gave it up. It was just a passing phase.
• I’ll start working out tomorrow, said every couch potato ever.

Related Post: Corny Jokes and Tennis Puns

• They say practice makes perfect, but I’ve been practicing for years and I still suck at sports.
• I don’t always play sports, but when I do, I play them badly.
• Behind every successful athlete is a very exhausted coach.
• The only exercise I get is running late.
• Sportsmanship is like deodorant, you never notice it until it’s not there.

Sports Riddles

Riddles, especially sports riddles, are a great way to pass the time while watching your favorite team play.

• Riddle: What is harder to catch the faster you run? – Answer: Your breath!
• Riddle: John bet Tom $100 that he can predict the score of the football game before it starts. Tom agrees but loses the bet. Why did Tom lose the bet? – Answer: John said the score would be 0-0 and he was right. “Before” any football game starts, the score is always 0-0.
• Riddle: Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball? – Answer: Baseball!
• Riddle: Two men were playing tennis. They played five sets and each man won three sets. How can this be possible? – Answer: The two men were partners playing doubles.
• Riddle: This object can be driven, but has no wheels, and can also be sliced and remain whole. What is it? – Answer: A Golf Ball.
• Riddle: There’s one “sport” in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it? – Answer: Boxing.

• Riddle: A man took the shell off of his champion racing snail to make it go faster. Did it work? – Answer: No. In fact, the snail became rather sluggish!
• Riddle: I play on a diamond, I play fair, I always get dirty, And then I run home. What Am I? – Answer: Baseball Player
• Riddle: A man is running home, where he meets 2 men with masks on. Then he runs away from home. What is this man’s job? – Answer: A baseball player. The 2 masked men are the umpire and the catcher.
• Riddle: What is served, but not by a waiter; and an ace but not a card? – Answer: A volleyball
• Riddle: A pro fisherman decided to become a pro golfer. In order to buy his clubs he had to sell his boat. How did he list it? – Answer: Fore Sail!
• Riddle: I am a horse without legs and a body, I jump but never run. What kind of a horse am I? – Answer: A chess piece (horse/knight).

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