100 Funny Golf Puns, Golf Jokes and Golf Riddles PRINTABLE

FORE! Golf puns, golf jokes, and golf riddles are flying your way!!! This collection will be a hole-in-one for getting your golf buddies laughing.

If jokes are your thing, check out our huge collection of Jokes for Kids.

Golf Puns

You’ll never fore-get these awesome golf puns.

Bad at golf? Join the club.
Are you a scratch golfer? I know I am because every time I hit the ball, I scratch my head wondering where on Earth it went.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, it means he probably shot an eight.
I told my buddy I got a new set of clubs for my wife. He said, “Sounds like a good trade!”
In golf, people tend to get their numbers mixed up. They shoot a “six,” yell “fore,” and write “five.”
I’m so bad at golf that I have to go get my ball retriever re-gripped more often than my clubs.
Golf is an easy game. It’s just hard to play.
Are you a fairway? Because you’re looking like the perfect path to my heart.
Are you a golfer? Because you’re making my heart swing.
I’m no professional, but meeting you makes me a major winner.

Golfers aren’t happy unless they’re teed off!
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.
If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Golf forth, and prosper.
Careful there, putter fingers.
A land par, par away.
This is my cup of tee.
As par as the eye can see.
No ifs, ands, or putts.
Quit wasting time puttering around.

These golf jokes are great for the next time you’re stuck in the sand.

Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? – Clubbing!
Why are computers such naturally good golfers? – They have a hard drive.
Why do golfers hate cake? – Because they might get a slice.
What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? – Tryna catch me ridin’ birdie!
Why don’t grasshoppers play golf? – They like cricket better.
Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? – All the fans are gone!
Why do golfers carry two gloves? – In case they get a hole in one.
What did you get on your last hole? – Depressed.
Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf? – Because she always runs away from the ball.
What did one golf ball say to another golf ball? – See you round.

How are golf balls like eggs? – They’re sold by the dozen, and a week later, you have to buy more.
What do you call a lion playing golf? – Roarin’ Mcllroy.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course? – He was perfecting his swing.
Why was the golfer always calm during a round of golf? – He had a steady hand.
Why did the golfer carry a spare umbrella? – In case of a “fore” cast.
What do you call a golfer who always takes the easy way out? – A short-cutter.
Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? – To reach new heights in his performance.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? – Fore!
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare? – The Bogeyman.
Where do golfers go on their date? – The golf ball.

Why isn’t golf played in the jungle? – Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why couldn’t Tiger listen to music? – Because he broke all of the records.
What does a golfer’s diet consist of? A lot of greens and water.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move? – The bogey.
How can you tell a golfer is really bad? – He always has a spare scorecard.
What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? – A skydiver has a better chance of landing on the fairway.
Why do golf announcers whisper? – Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.
What are three ways to improve your golf game? – Take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating.
What do golfers do on their days off? – Putter around.

Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day? – A golf course.
What’s the easiest shot in golf? – Your fourth putt.
Why didn’t the golfer say anything before he hit the ball off the tee? – He was at a loss fore words.
What’s a golfer’s favorite letter? – Tee.
Why do golfers prefer a cart to a caddy? – Because a cart cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

What should NASA do if it wants to find water on Mars? – Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
Why was Cinderella such a terrible golfer? – Her coach was a pumpkin.
Why didn’t the skeleton play golf? – His heart wasn’t in it.
What time is it when an elephant steps on your golf ball? – Time to get a new ball!
What do you call a golfer who’s always laying down on the course? – A putt-putt!
What do you call a golfer who’s always borrowing clubs? – A tee thief!
Why did the golfer’s caddy quit? – Because he couldn’t deal with the divot rift between them!
What do you call a golfer who always plays during the day? – A daylight robber!
Why can’t Tampa Bay Buccaneers play golf? – They always hook the ball.

I am cute, little, white, and have dimples all over. What am I? – A golf ball.
A pro fisherman decided to become a pro golfer. In order to buy his clubs, he had to sell his boat. How did he list it? – Fore Sail!
I’m found on the course, but I’m not a golfer, I hold the flag, but I’m not a pole. I’m a target for your aim, but never score a goal. – Golf Hole.
I’m sought by many but found by few, in a single stroke, a golfer’s dream come true. A rarity on the course, a feat of skill and grace, many chase me, but few embrace. – Hole-in-One.
I’m part of the game, yet not a player, I’m counted and sought, but not a layer. I’m what you chase, yet hope to reduce, in the game of golf, I’m an elusive ruse. – Par Score.

Wedge these printable golf puns into your golf bag, and you’ll be swinging your way to a day full of sun and laughter.