39 Funny Football Jokes, Football Puns and Riddles PRINTABLE
Calling all football fans! These football jokes, football puns, and football riddles are just for you! Bring some extra laughter to game day.
Check out our sports jokes, too!
Football Jokes
The football jokes in this collection are just right for Sunday… or Monday, or Thursday. Enjoy!
- Why can’t football players wear glasses on the field? – Because it’s a contact sport.
- What is a football player’s favorite ice cream? – Any given sundae.
- Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? – Because she kept running away from the ball!
- Why don’t grasshoppers watch football? – They prefer cricket!
- Which football player wears the biggest helmet? – The one with the biggest head.
- How did the octopuses win the football game? – Ten tackles.
- Why is the Swiss defense like a block of cheese? – It’s full of holes!
Related Post: Basketball Jokes
- Why do coaches like punters? – Because punters always put their best foot forward.
- Where do hungry football players play? – In the Supper Bowl.
- How did Scrooge end up with the football? – The ghost of Christmas passed!
- What do you call a lineman’s kid? – A chip off the old blocker.
- Why did the football quit the team? – It was tired of being kicked around!
- What do you call a boat full of polite football players? -A good sportsman-ship.
- What tea do footballers drink? – Penal-tea!
- Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space? – Because there is no atmosphere!
Football Puns
Kicking off these football puns with one that is sure to score!
- Didn’t do well in my football teamwork exam… I didn’t pass!
- Kicking off with a real goal-den opportunity.
- That play was truly un-baller-lievable.
- Scoring goals like it’s their bread and butterfield.
- Midfielders always finding the right pass-time.
- Defenders are the real goal-diggers.
- The coach knew his goal: winning.
- The ball was acting up.. It wanted to kick back.
Related Posts: Golf Puns
- Red cards are just the referee’s way of sending you off in style
- Free kicks are a real bootiful thing
- Fields of green are just turf-ic
- Everyone loves a good corner kick story
- The football field was so cold, it was easy to spot the fans—they were all frozen stiff!
- The referee couldn’t sleep; too many foul dreams.
- The football team decided to bring a ladder to the game because they wanted to go for extra “highs.”
Football Riddles
Take a football riddle with you to the next game. Everyone will have a good time
- Riddle: I am chased on fields worldwide, a sphere of dreams and disputes combined. What am I? – Answer: Football
- Riddle: I’m kicked, I’m thrown, but I never complain. I travel far and wide, in sun and rain. What am I? – Answer: A football.
- Riddle: I can be played on grass or turf, yet I’m never a player. I show the score and time, but I’m just a fixture. What am I? – Answer: A scoreboard.
- Riddle: I change colors every game, and I’m seen but never heard. I’m essential for fans and players alike. What am I? – Answer: A team’s jersey.
- Riddle: On the field, I’m your guide, but I’m not in the game. I help players stay within the rules, and my sound is my fame. What am I? – Answer: The referee’s whistle.
- Riddle: I’m not a player but help in the game, with numbers and letters, I play my name. What am I? – Answer: A playbook.
- Riddle: Where fans gather, cheer, and chant, a grand stage for the players’ gallant. What am I? – Answer: Stadium
- Riddle: Studded shoes that grip the ground, for running fast and turning round. What am I? – Answer: Cleats
- Riddle: Though I’m never touched, I’m crucial to the game. I dictate play and action, but I’m never to blame. What am I? – Answer: The game’s rules.
Printable Football Jokes, Puns and Riddles
Print these football jokes and bring them along with you to the stadium!
Click here to get your Football Jokes printable.