Football Jokes for Kids: 80+ Funny Jokes, Puns, and Riddles (Free Printable)
Ready, set, laugh! Whether you’re heading to the big game, cheering from the sidelines, or stuck in the car on the way to practice, these football jokes for kids are ready to bring some extra fun to game day! Parents, kids, and coaches can all join in because every joke is kid-friendly, team-neutral, and easy to share. You’ll find silly jokes, punny one-liners, knock knock jokes, Super Bowl giggles, and football riddles to stump the whole family. No matter which team you’re rooting for, there’s plenty of football fun and good-natured laughs for everyone.
Table of Contents
Funny Football Jokes for Kids
Ready for a touchdown of humor? These funny NFL jokes for kids are bound to get you excited about the football season.
Why did the football cross the field?
To get to the other goalpost.
What did the football say when it was thrown?
“Catch you later!”
Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarterback.
What do football players eat on game day?
Touchdown tacos!
Why did the football player bring a blanket to the game?
Because he wanted to cover the field.
Why did the football player break up with the football?
There was just too much passing between them!
Why did the quarterback become a chef?
He was great at serving up plays.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
“Come on, you’ve got to step up your game!”
What is a football player’s favorite ice cream?
Any given sundae.
Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket!
Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
The one with the biggest head.
How did the octopuses win the football game?
Ten tackles.
Why is a bad defense like a block of Swiss cheese?
It’s full of holes!
How did Scrooge end up with the football?
The ghost of Christmas passed!
What do you call a lineman’s kid?
A chip off the old blocker.
Why did the football quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman-ship.
Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?
Because there’s no atmosphere!
Football Puns for Kids
Wanna share your team spirit with these quirky football puns for kids? They really are punt-tastic!
Why did the football player make a great detective?
He was always good at tackling tough cases!
Why did the defender bring a backpack to the game?
He was ready to sack some serious snacks.
What do you call a wizard who is terrible at football?
Fumbledore.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she always runs away from the ball!
Why are football players always cold?
Because they have so many fans.
What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penal-TEA.
Why did the football coach go to the theater?
He wanted to watch some great plays!
Why did the football player bring a hammer to practice?
To nail every tackle.
I didn’t do well on my football teamwork test… I didn’t pass!
The ball was acting up. It wanted to kick back.
The referee couldn’t sleep. He had too many foul dreams.
The stadium was so cold, it was easy to spot the fans. They were all frozen stiff!
The football team brought a ladder to the game because they wanted to go for extra “highs.”
Soccer Puns (for Fans Who Call It Football!)
In most of the world, “football” means soccer. These puns are for the soccer fans in the family.
Kicking off with a real goal-den opportunity.
That play was truly un-baller-lievable.
Scoring goals like it’s their bread and butterfield.
Midfielders always find the right pass-time.
Defenders are the real goal-diggers.
Red cards are just the referee’s way of sending you off in style.
Free kicks are a real boot-iful thing.
Fields of green are just turf-ic.
Riddle: I am chased on fields worldwide, a sphere of dreams and disputes combined. What am I?
Answer: A soccer ball.
Football Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
Ready for the kickoff? This matchup of football knock knock jokes gives me those Super Bowl chills! Want even more? Try our best knock knock jokes for kids.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to come over and watch the big game with me?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben sitting on the bench all game. Please, coach, put me in!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time! I just caught the winning touchdown pass.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Soup.
Soup who?
Soup-er Bowl Sunday is the most exciting Sunday of the whole year!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Couch.
Couch who?
Couch potatoes can watch the game, but I’d rather play it!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mask.
Mask who?
Mask-ot costumes are super hot, but dancing on the sidelines is worth it!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quarter.
Quarter who?
Quarterback is the leader of the team, so give him the ball and watch him fly!
Super Bowl Jokes for Kids
Save these for the biggest game of the year. They pair perfectly with a plate of wings and a comfy couch!
Why did the chicken cross the road during the Super Bowl?
To get away from the wings platter!
Why do families always huddle up right before the Super Bowl kickoff?
To see who gets the best seat on the comfy couch!
Why was the bowl of guacamole so nervous during the fourth quarter?
Because it knew it was about to get scooped with only seconds left on the clock!
What do you call a football player who loves cheesy Super Bowl snacks?
A nacho-average quarterback!
Why did the stadium lights go down during halftime?
So the band could shine brighter than the scoreboard.
Why did the potato chip get benched during the Super Bowl party?
Because it kept crunching under pressure.
Where do hungry football players play?
In the Supper Bowl.
Football Player and Cheerleader Jokes
What do cheerleaders eat before a big game?
Cheer-ios!
Why did the football player go to the bakery?
He heard they had a great roll-out play.
Why did the football player bring sunglasses to practice?
He was ready for some highlights.
Why did the football player love telling jokes?
Because he always knew how to deliver the punchline.
Why did the cheerleader get promoted?
She really knew how to lift everyone up.
Why did the cheerleader become a comedian?
She was already great at getting a rise out of people.
Football Riddles for Kids
Put on your thinking helmets! These football riddles are great for kids who like a challenge between plays.
I have a bunch of yards, but I don’t have a single house, any grass, or any feet. What am I?
Answer: A football field!
I can be caught, I can be thrown, and I can even be fumbled, but I don’t have hands, feet, or bones. What am I?
Answer: A football!
What gets six points when it crosses a line, but doesn’t use a pencil, a map, or a car?
Answer: A touchdown!
I wear stripes like a zebra, I carry a whistle like a gym teacher, and I make everyone mad even when I’m right. Who am I?
Answer: A referee!
We have wings but we can’t fly, we get eaten while the game goes by, and we come with celery on the side. What are we?
Answer: Chicken wings at a Super Bowl party!
I have a cage but no pets, I sit on your head but I’m not a hat, and I keep you safe when you get tackled. What am I?
Answer: A football helmet.
I’m kicked, I’m thrown, but I never complain. I travel far and wide, in sun and rain. What am I?
Answer: A football.
I stand beside the field, but I’m never a player. I show the score and the time for every fan to see. What am I?
Answer: A scoreboard.
Home or away, my colors show which team you’re on. Fans wear me too! What am I?
Answer: A team jersey.
On the field, I’m your guide, but I’m not in the game. I help players stay within the rules, and my sound is my fame. What am I?
Answer: The referee’s whistle.
I’m full of X’s and O’s, and every coach keeps me close. What am I?
Answer: A playbook.
Where fans gather, cheer, and chant, I’m a grand stage for the players’ gallant. What am I?
Answer: A stadium.
Studded shoes that grip the ground, for running fast and turning round. What am I?
Answer: Cleats.
Though I’m never touched, I’m crucial to the game. I decide what’s allowed, but I’m never to blame. What am I?
Answer: The rules of the game.
Football Jokes to Share at the Game
Heading to a game? These football jokes are the ones that always get a laugh in the stands. The chicken fans in your crew will also love our silly chicken jokes for kids.
Why don’t football players wear glasses?
Because it’s a contact sport.
Why did the spooky spirit make the varsity squad?
Because he was terrifyingly good at ghosting the cornerback!
Where do football players go when they want a quick bite to eat?
The nearest Tackle Bell.
Why did the kicker open up an art studio?
Because he was a master at drawing the perfect line through the uprights.
Why was the referee so rich?
Because every game he started began with a quarter back.
How do chickens support their favorite football teams?
They egg them on.
Why do coaches love punters?
Because punters always put their best foot forward.
These football jokes for kids come with a free printable, so you can bring them to the stadium or tuck one in a lunchbox. For more game day giggles, check out our sports jokes and puns for kids and basketball jokes and puns.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are these football jokes appropriate for young kids?
Yes! Every joke here is kid-friendly and team-neutral, so there are no team rivalries or real player names. Younger kids usually love the knock knock jokes and simple one-liners, while older kids enjoy the puns and riddles that take a little more thinking.
What’s the difference between American football jokes and soccer jokes?
In the U.S., “football” means the game with touchdowns, quarterbacks, and field goals. In most other countries, “football” means soccer. Most of the jokes on this page are about American football, and we included a short section of soccer puns for families who love both.
How can I use football jokes with my kids?
Tuck a joke in a lunchbox on game day, read a few in the car on the way to practice, or take turns telling them during halftime. Coaches can also use a quick joke to warm up a team before practice or lighten the mood after a tough game.
What makes a good football pun?
The best football puns swap in a word that sounds like a football term, like “Fumbledore” for fumble or “penal-tea” for penalty. Once kids spot the pattern, challenge them to invent their own using words like pass, punt, tackle, huddle, or kick.
When is the best time to share football jokes?
Football jokes are perfect from the start of the season in late summer all the way through the Super Bowl in February. They’re also great for fall parties, tailgates, and any time your family is cheering on a favorite team.
Keep the Laughs Rolling
And there you have it: our top football jokes for kids to keep the whole team laughing from kickoff to the end zone! Whether you’re a football fan, a future quarterback, or just here for the groan-worthy puns, remember, a good joke is always worth the extra point. Download the free printable, share your favorite joke in the comments, and whatever you do… don’t fumble the punchline! Looking for more seasonal fun? Try our funny fall jokes for kids.
always funny