130 Super Silly Apple Jokes and Apple Puns PRINTABLE

A good joke (like these apple jokes) can help build a connection with laughter. The sillier the joke, the better! And if it’s apple puns you’re looking for, we have those, too!

You might also like our Lunch Box Jokes and Cheese Jokes and Puns.

Apple Jokes

Whether you’re heading to the apple orchard or enjoying an afternoon snack, these apple jokes for kids (and adults) will be a great addition to the moment.

• When is an apple grouchy? – When it’s a crab apple.
• What kind of apple isn’t an apple? – A pineapple.
• What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? – Finding half a worm.
• What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? – A tooty fruity.
• Who led all the apples to the bakery? – The Pie Piper
• Why did the football player miss the game? – He had Appled hamstring.
• What is Darth Vader’s favorite fruit? – Empire apples.
• What kind of apples do they grow in the Magic Garden? – Paula red.
• What avid reader lives in an apple? – A bookworm.
• What do you call an apple with gas? – A tooty fruity.

Who led all the apples to the bakery? – The Pie Piper.

• How do you make an apple turnover? – Push it downhill.
• What did the apple say to the pie? – You’ve got some crust.
• Why did the hornet serve Honeycrisp apples? – Bee cause.
• How does an Apple Watch owner know that it’s midday? – It’s already run out of battery.
• What’s the worst part of an apple addiction? – You can’t see a doctor about it.
• What do you call two apples next to each other? – A pear.
• Why did the apple pie cry? – Its peelings were hurt.
• What happens when you throw a green apple into the Red Sea? – It gets wet.
• Where do the most apples grow? – The Apple-achian Mountains.
• What type of computer does a worm like to eat? – A Macintosh

Related Post: Fall Jokes

• How do you make an apple puff? – Chase it round the garden.
• Did you know that Apple makes your eyes feel better? – They call it iDrops
• What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do? – It can look round.
• Where do yellow jackets go to watch the big game? – Apple-Bees.
• Why was the apple afraid of the milk? – The milk went bad.
• What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do? – It can look round.
• Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? – Because they have such a high turnover rate.
• Why was the apple afraid of the milk? -The milk went bad.
• What do you call a doctor who specializes in Adam’s apples? – A guyneckologist
• What did Fiona Apple name her twin boys – Mack and Tosh

• What did the supportive apple skin say to the apple? – I’ve got you covered.
• What kind of apple did Charlie Brown get for the red-haired girl? – Ginger gold.
• Why didn’t the boy choose the apple over the pear? – He like the apple butter.
• What kind of apples do they eat in the desert? – Camel apples. (caramel apples)
• Why did the yam get along so well with the apple? – They were both candied.
• What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his apple pie too fast? – Stop goblin your dessert.
• Why did the apple join the circus? – He loved all the apple-ause.
• Why did the apple break up with the orange? – Because the banana was more appealing.
• What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? – Apple Pi.
• Why did the school library have a basket of apples? – For the bookworms.

What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? – A Macintosh.

• Where do apples go to college? – SUNY Cortland.
• What did the student say to the gym teacher so he could be excused from class? – Appled a muscle in my leg!
• Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? – She fell for the Big Apple!
• Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? – Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
• How do you make an apple turnover? – Push it down hill.
• If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? – Keeps everyone away 
• Why do pigs go to New York City? – To see the Big Apple.
• How are you supposed to talk in the apple library? – With your incider voice.
• What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie ? – Puff pastry.
• Which type of apple works for the NSA? – Northern Spy apples.
• Which type of apple only makes brief appearances? – Cameo apples.

Related Posts: Pumpkin Jokes

• Who makes the best apple pies in the family? – Granny Smith.
• What do you get when you cross an apple pie with a shellfish? – A crab apple pie.
• Why did the hornet serve honeycrisp apples? – Bee cause.
• How many grams of protein are in a slice of apple pi? – 3.14159265
• What did the apple say to the almond? – You’re Nuts! 
• Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? – Because they don’t want to be as American as apple pie
• Why did the apple crumble go to the dentist? – Because it needed a filling.
• What do you call an apple that’s been around the world? – Johnny Appleseed.
• Who’s an apple’s favorite relative? – Granny.
• How many apples grow on a tree? – All of them.
• Which monster is red, round and comes out in Autumn? – Frankenapple.
• What did the apple say to the apple pie? – “You’ve got some crust.”

Apple Puns

I got my pie on these hilarious apple puns!

• You have to apple-eye for your driver’s license.
• My apple-ication was rejected.
• Beauty is in the pie of the beholder.
• I got my pie on you.
• Work hard and you will succ-seed in life.
• Did you hear about the apple’s vacation? It was a ‘fruitful’ trip!
• The apple was feeling confident, it knew it was the apple of everyone’s eye.
• I apple-laud your efforts.
• I’d like to apple-ogize for my joke!I am apple-oyed by your moaning.
• He’s an apple-thlete in his spare time.
• I am apple-hensive about what’s going to happen.
• Your performance was apple-solutely amazing.
• Let’s apple-y ourselves to this.

That is so apple-ling.

• I am apple-eased to be finished.
• He is an apple-solute nightmare.
• The apple was always so supportive, it was the apple of my eyePhone.
• The apple was in a race and couldn’t “sauce” out who would win.
• I asked the apple a question, but it didn’t “seed” my text.
• Did you hear about the apple’s romance? It was love at first ‘bite’!
• I can peel you in my bones.
• I’m so pleased I picked you.
• This is a core moment.
• I have de-cider-ed to have that apple.
• Ooo Juicy!
• Always look on the bright cider of life.
• It’s just the tree of us, eating apples in the sky. 

• The apple wasn’t feeling well, it thought it might have “i-llness.”
• The apple was worried about its future, it didn’t want to end up in a “jam.”
• The apple was the center of attention, it knew it had a lot of “a-peel.”
• If you plant an apple tree in your backyard, you might grow a “re-pear” ingly large tree.
• The apple started a band, but it didn’t go far. It just couldn’t find the right “core” sound.
• The apple was being really bossy, it said it was the “top of the tree.”
• The apple thought it was the apple-ogist of the orchard.
• The apple was having a pear pressure moment.
• The apple kept making fruitless efforts.
• The apple was in a fruity mood today.

Related Post: Corn Puns

• The apple was the apple of discord at the fruit bowl.
• Did you hear about the apple’s autobiography? It was a real ‘page-turner’!
• Let’s apple-rove this immediately.
• I would like an apple-oinment to see the Doctor please.
• His approach is apple-icable to our situation.
• I have an apple-tunity to excel.
• You’re the apple of my eye.
• I hope you’re ‘Appy.
• That shook me to the core.
• And they lived apple-y ever after.
• Apple puns are such apple-us (a plus).
• My core values are: Be kind, caring, curious, and hungry for more apples.
• I’d like to apple-ogize for the pun.
• I love you to your core.
• If you were a fruit, you’d be one fine-apple.
• I’m having an apple-solute blast.
• A balanced diet is an apple in each hand.

• Apple-solutely fabulous.
• An apple a day? More like “crisp” therapy!
• Orchards: where the magic “blossoms”.
• Stay crunchy, my friends.
• A “fruit”ful life begins with apples.
• I don’t mean to brag, but I’m the apple-tite of everyone’s eye!
• You can’t spell caramel without “me” and “apple” – it’s fate!
• I’m the apple-ogist when it comes to knowing the best apples for apple pie!
• You’re the apple-cheeked, rosy-faced cutie I’ve been looking for!
• Hey apple, way to grow!
• I’m only picking the apples that are red-ily available.

Share how you will use these jokes for kids in the comment section!