137 Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns PRINTABLE

As if you needed another reason to love Christmas, here are some very funny Christmas tree jokes and puns that will really spruce up the season.

Add another Christmas puns collection to your list Christmas Puns.

Tree-mendous Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns

Christmas Tree Jokes

Wow! We have some pine-tastic Christmas Tree Jokes, just for you!

  • Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire? – Too much pine tar on his bat.
  • Why are Christmas trees more noticeable on Christmas? – They have more presence.
  • How can you identify a Christmas tree? – By its bark – woof!
  • What do Christmas trees get when they go numb? – Pines and needles!
  • What do Christmas trees get when they’re ill? – Tinselitus! 
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? – It needed a root canal! 
  • Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test? – It got stumped by all the questions! 
  • Why was Luke under the Christmas tree? – He wanted to feel Obi Wan’s presents.
  • Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad? – It was a weeping willow!
  • How do Christmas trees get their email? – They log-on! 
  • Why was there ice cream under the Christmas tree? – To go with the pine cones! 
  • What looks like half a Christmas tree? – They other half! 
  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? – A treeangle!
  • How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? – They signed a peace tree-ty! 

What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day? – They get all sappy!

  • How did the Christmas tree get in trouble? – It was knotty.
  • What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm? – Christmas be my lucky day!
  • Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? – Wood-row Wilson
  • Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets? – They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
  • Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole? – BeClaus, why not?
  • How was the Christmas tree like a bad seamstress? – They both drop needles
  • What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed? – It started his own branch.
  • How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer? – You put on hornaments.
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school? – So it could spruce up the forest.
  • What don’t you want your dog to run into over Christmas vacation? – The Christmas Flea.
  • What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? – It’s shadow.
  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek? – The Captain’s log!
  • Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show? – He really knew how to present!

Related Post: Elf Jokes

  • What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool? – Trunks! 
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? – It was feeling green! 
  • What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? – Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow!
  • What do you call a Christmas tree with a bad attitude? – A tinsel-ted troublemaker!
  • What did the Christmas tree say when it saw its presents? – Well, well, well, looks like I’ve got some pine-tastic gifts!
  • Why does a fully decorated Christmas tree weigh less than a non decorated one? – Because it’s lighter.
  • Why wasn’t the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? – Because of ‘elf and safety restrictions.
  • Why can’t Christmas trees sew? – Because they always drop their needles.
Tree-mendous Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns
  • Why did the pine tree get coal in its Christmas stocking? – Because it was knotty all year long.
  • How do Christmas trees access the internet? – They Yule log on.
  • What must trees drink responsibly this holiday season? – Root beer.
  • How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies? – They both have stars.
  • What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool? – Swim trunks.
  • Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show? – He really knew how to present.
  • Why don’t Christmas trees ever pollute? – They are ever green.
  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek? – The Captain’s log.
  • How do Christmas trees make their feelings heard? – They O-pine.
  • What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree? – Faux fir.
  • What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always running late? – A slacker-jacker!

Why don’t Christmas trees ever go on dates? – Because they’re always pining for each other!

  • What did the Christmas tree say to Santa Claus? – I’m always rooting for you, old friend!
  • Where do Christmas trees keep their most valuable possessions? – In a snow bank.
  • Do you know how the Thanksgiving turkey and I got caught trying to rob the Christmas tree farm? – The cranberry saw us.
  • What did the Christmas tree say to the Hanukkah bush? – Nothing, silly. Everyone knows that Christmas trees communicate telepathically! Duh.
  • What does the insensitive Christmas tree say when her brother gets teary-eyed over every little thing that happens during the holidays? – Fir crying out loud!
  • What do you call a few Christian arborists bearing gifts? – Tree wise men.

Related Posts: Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

  • What do you call a Christmas tree that sings? – Spruce Springsteen!
  •  Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? – It needed a trim!
  • What did the tinsel say to the Christmas tree? – ‘Don’t get all sappy on me!’
  • How does a Christmas tree get into Harvard? – It aced the pine-stitutes!
  •  What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? – “You really spruce up the place!”
  • Why did the Christmas tree bring a ladder to the party? – It wanted to meet the star!
  •  What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? – A pineapple!
  •  Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? – It had root canal issues!
  •  What do you call a Christmas tree that tells jokes? – A “punny” tree!
  •  Why did the Christmas tree go to the theater? – It wanted to see “Tree-nity War!”
  • How do Christmas trees keep in touch? – They use tree-mail!
  •  Why was the Christmas tree feeling lonely? – It couldn’t find its “tree-mate”!
  •  What do you call a Christmas tree with a good sense of humor? – A “jolly” green giant!
  • What happens if you cross a dog and a Christmas tree? – You get a fur tree!
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? – It felt green.
  • Why wasn’t the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? – Because of ‘elf and safety restrictions.
  • What do seedlings need in order to grow into Christmas trees? – They need sunshine and rain, dear.
  • What is a Christmas tree’s favorite cereal? – Frosted flakes.
Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns
  • What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A piglet!
  • What rock band did the mistletoe love to listen to? – Kiss.
  • Why was the mistletoe leaf shaped like a chicken? – It grew up in a poultree.
  • What do you call a mistletoe who didn’t return to the military on time? – Absent without leaf.
  • What weighs less, a pound of mistletoe or a pound of pine needles? – Neither, they both weigh one pound.

Why was all of the mistletoe growing up one tree? – It was the popular tree.

  • What did one Christmas tree say to the other? Lighten up!
  • What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree with an iPad? – A pineapple.
  • Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? – It was afraid of the bark. 
  • What do you get if you eat shiny Christmas tree decorations? – You get tinselitis.
  • What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a snowman? – A frosty-festive fir!
  • Why was the Christmas tree so good at playing hide and seek? – It had lots of evergreen cover!
  • What did the Christmas tree say when it finally got trimmed? – Now that’s what I call a-branching out!
  • Why did the Christmas tree start wearing glasses? – It needed to spruce up its look!

Christmas Tree Puns

  • Christmas trees are bad at sewing, they always drop their needles.
  • I don’t understand why cats climb Christmas trees, they should be afraid of the BARK.
  • Everyone likes decorating the Christmas tree, but taking it down confuses me. It’s really disornamenting
  • I’m so excited about the Christmas tree this year! I’m on pines and needles!
  • Birch, please. I love Christmas more than you think.
  • Guacin’ around the Christmas tree.

Have a tree-mendous Christmas.

  • Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.
  • I fern-ly be-leaf this tree is quali-tree.
  • I can feel your presents.
  • Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!
  • Ornamentary, my dear Watt-son.
  • Never fir-get how beautiful Christmas trees are.
  • I love you a whole watt.
  • Can I get a watt watt?
  • What a de-light you are to be around.
  • I’m having fun fir sure.
Tree-mendous Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns
  • I think my tree and I have really good chemis-tree.
  • Don’t forget that everyone is rooting for you.
  • I’ve been hooked on Christmas trees my whole life.
  • This year my tree is ballin.
  • I think my tree and I have really good chemis-tree.
  • Two’s company. Tree’s a crowd.
  • My Christmas tree is the best, and I don’t care if you disa-green.
  • Feeling just pine.
  • Advice from a tree: stand tall and proud, go out on a limb, remember your roots, and drink plenty of water.
  • Don’t forget that everyone is rooting for you.
  • I don’t trust my Christmas tree. It’s always giving me shady vibes.”
  • Barking up the wrong Christmas tree
  • Time to spruce things up.”
  • I’m feelin’ pine.

Related Posts: Reindeer Jokes

  • I like ’em real thick and sprucy.
  • Don’t get all sappy on me,” said the Christmas tree farmer.
  • You wood not believe my Christmas tree is artificial.
  • The kids are on pines and needles waiting for Santa’s gifts to arrive under the tree.
  • Christmas trees wear skirts so you won’t cedar roots.
  • We have great chemis-tree.
  • I’ll never fir-get.
  • These decorations are tree-mendous.
  • Birch, please.
  • Fir sure.
  • You need to branch out.
  • Ready, set, glow.
Tree-mendous Christmas Tree Jokes and Christmas Tree Puns

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