78 Rock Jokes, Rock Puns, and Rock Riddles PRINTABLE

This collection of rock jokes, rock puns, and rock riddles is great if you’re a geology student or just a lover of rocks.

You’ll probably get excited about these Nature Riddles, too!

Rock Jokes

Let’s get off to a rocky start with these rock jokes for kids and adults.

• What do you call a rock that never goes to school? – A skipping stone!
• What did the one volcano say to the other volcano? – “Hey, do you want to be my lava?”
• What’s a rock’s favorite ice cream flavor? – Rocky road.
• How do rocks communicate with each other? – They use sedimentary messages.
• Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.
• Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper? – Because paper beats rock.
• How do you know a rock is happy? – It’s a little boulder.
• What do you call a rock that never goes to school? – An igneous.
• What do you call a rock that never goes to the beach? – A “shore loser.”
• Why was the math book sad when it saw a rock? – Because it knew the rock had better “algrebraic” skills.

What did the rock say when it got locked out of the house? – “Don’t take me for granite.”

• What’s a rock’s favorite game to play at the beach? – Sand, Paper, Scissors.
• Why is it hard to be a diamond? – Too much pressure.
• Why did the tectonic plates break up? – It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
• What do you do with dead geologists? – You barium.
• Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? – Because it was on shale.
• Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian? – Chris Rock.
• Why don’t rocks ever go to the doctor? – Because they’re all mineral.
• How do rocks apologize to each other? – They make “amends.”
• Who is a geologist’s favorite actor? – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
• What do you call a rock that loves to run? – A “marathon.”
• What do geologists do when they find an empty cup? – Phyllite.
• How do geologists like to relax? – In rocking chairs, of course!

• How did the rock propose to the diamond? – With a “carat” ring.
• What do rocks eat? – Pom-a-granites.
• When were rock puns the funniest? – During the stone age.
• What did the motivational speaker say? – Don’t take life for granite.
• What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake? – A sham rock.
• What do lazy rocks do? – Sit around all day getting stoned.

Related Posts: Sun Jokes and Camping Puns

• Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money? – They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
• Why was the geologist always depressed? – He had a hard rock life.
• Why should you never expect perfection from geologists? – Because they all have their faults.
• What did the diamond say to its friend copper? – Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
• Why did the rock sleep all day? – He was a bedrock.
• Where do you take an injured rock? – To the Rocktor.

Rock Puns

These funny rock puns are sure to dig up a good laugh.

• Geologists love music, but their playlists get boring—they’re only rock and roll.
• Not to quarry—you’ll do great on your science exam!
• I’m coal as a cucumber!
• This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.
• May the quartz be with you!
• Beach rocks are so cheap because they’re always on shale.
• Be patient with geologists—they all have their faults.
• My rock collection has so much sedimental value.
• Power to the pebble!
• Be patient with geologists — they all have their faults.
• Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car? He had a wide lode sign.
• I really hate rock puns. My sediments exactly.
• Oh, you were looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up.
• I lava you so much.

Let’s rock and roll!

• My sediments, exactly.
• So many geologists are out standing in the field.
• Never take life for granite.
• My career as a geologist is really on the rocks.
• I tried to make a rock sculpture, but I did not have the grit for it.
• I need some assi-stones
• Not to quarry
• The rock band’s new album was a bit of a rocky road.

• I tried to learn about the rock cycle, but it was too much of a rocky path.
• The geologist’s favorite holiday was Rocktober.
• I tried to make a rock garden, but I didn’t have the gravel for it.
• The rock climber’s favorite movie was 127 Hours.
• Don’t take me for granite
• It’s a hard rock life
• Hit rock bottom
• Stony faced
• A stony silence
• Feeling sedimental
• Be boulder.

Rock Riddles with Answers

These rock riddles will bring out the Sherlock in your rock-loving crowd.

• Riddle: I am a mountain’s sturdy heart, an ancient core that won’t depart. What am I? – Answer: Granite
• Riddle: Heavy and dense, I silently lay, in Earth’s deep pockets, day after day. Holding secrets of the ground below, what am I, that doesn’t show? Answer: Geode.
• Riddle: I’m small and round and often skipped, by children’s joy I’m often flipped. What am I? Answer: Pebble
• Riddle: I sit among the hills so high, beneath the sun and open sky. What am I? Answer: Boulder.
• Riddle: In me, echoes of ancient seas reside, layers of time, in my embrace they hide. Once fluid, now solid, a transformation so grand, what am I, with history in hand? – Answer: Limestone.
• Riddle: Born of pressure and of time, in grand structures, I do shine. What am I? – Answer: Marble
• Riddle: A watchmaker’s friend, yet I have no time; pure and hard, in quartz I’m prime. What am I? – Answer: Quartz
• Riddle: From the volcano to your hand, I’m the rock that floats on land. What am I? – Answer: Pumice

Add your favorite rock joke to the comments.