100 Funny First Day of School Jokes (School-Safe + Printable)

Why Are First Day of School Jokes Such a Good Idea?

Funny first day of school jokes are one of the easiest ways to take the edge off that big, scary morning. Most kids dread the first day of school. Or maybe the day that any parent expects arrived: the day you have to let go and send your little one to “big school.” I’m not sure who is more nervous. Them or us?

You can make the transition from pre-school to primary school, or any other time when your child must go back to school, a little easier on them by introducing some funny first day of school jokes.

Imagine their surprise when they open their lunchbox and mom left them a funny note or a few jokes to share a few chuckles with friends. Humor is an excellent tool for easing those first-day-of-school jitters and helping kids get more excited for the new school year. As a child, the first day of school was not scary to me at all. I think it’s because of my parents and the way they put me at ease and prepared me.

Why Does First Day of School Humor Help Kids?

First day of school humor genuinely helps kids settle in because it lowers anxiety before they even walk through the classroom door. The first day of starting or going back to school can feel nerve-wracking for kids, not knowing what’s in store for them. It’s important for parents or teachers to create a fun environment for kids as they transition back to school, as it can boost social interaction and create a relaxed atmosphere to help them focus and learn better. The best way to do so is by sharing back to school jokes and school jokes for kids to help them settle in more comfortably.

It can be a challenge for kids to adjust to a new school, but first day of school humor can help create comfort and connection, making the transition smoother. With our printable first day of school jokes, you can help your child feel better about the first day of school. Having printables ready for quick access can go a long way in brightening up their day, especially for lunchbox notes.

What Are the Best Funny First Day of School Jokes for Kids?

Here are 100 easy first day of school jokes your kids will love, perfect for lunchbox notes, morning laughs, or the classroom.

1. How do bees go to school? By bee buzzz.
2. Why does the dog perform so well in school? Because he’s the teacher’s pet.
3. What is the butterfly’s favorite subject? MOTHematics. 
4. What is black when it’s clean, but white when it’s dirty? The blackboard.
5. Which is the longest table in the class? The multiplication table. 
6. What superhero will you find in computer class? The screensaver.
7. Which school do birds attend? High school.
8. What is the blackboard’s favorite drink? Hot Chalk-olate.
9. Which animal cheats in the exams? CHEATah. 
10. Why do triangles and squares work out every day? To stay in shape. 
11. What can children catch, but not throw? A cold.
12. How much do computers eat for lunch? A byte.
13. What’s so fresh in the chemistry class? The experiMINTS. 
14. Which insect is the smartest in class? The spelling bee.
15. What are the coolest letters of the alphabet? AC.
16. Which school does the ice cream man go to? Sundae school.
17. How do fish get to school? By octobus.
18. What are the ten things teachers can always count on? Their fingers. 
19. What is Mr. Snake’s favorite subject? Hissstory.
20. What is the English teacher’s favorite breakfast? Synonymⁱ rolls. 
21. Which is the tallest school building? The library—because it has many STORIES.
22. Which nation is the teacher’s favorite nation? ExplaNATION. 
23. Why didn’t the sun go to university? Because it already has many degrees.
24. Which subject is the sweetest? History – because it has many dates.
25. What do you call the boy with a dictionary in his pants? Smartiepants.
26. What is a mathematical plant? The one with square roots. 
27. Why do music teachers do well in baseball? They have perfect pitch.
28. How do you know that Saturn was married more than once? Because it has many rings. 
29. What do you call a tired backpack? A knapsack.
30. Which two days start with T? Today and tomorrow.
31. What’s the calculator’s favorite saying? You can count on me. 
32. Why do pirates take a long time to finish reading the letters of the alphabet? Because they spend a lot of time at C. 
33. When do astronauts eat lunch? During LAUNCH time.
34. Why did the teacher throw her watch out the window? She wanted to see time fly.
35. What do ducks use to solve problems? A Quackulator.
36. Why does the music teacher use a ladder in school? He needs to reach high notes.
37. Who is the leader of school supplies? The ruler.
38. Who is everyone’s best friend in school? The princiPAL.
39. This US state has the most number of math teachers. MATHachusetts 
40. What year is the frog’s favorite year? Leap year.
41. What do you call a teacher that is addicted to Instagram? An instaGRAMMAR.
42. Which tree is the English teacher’s favorite tree? A PoeTREE. 
43. Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
44. Which school do the surfers go to? Boarding school.
45. Why were the students doing multiplication on the floor? The teacher asked them not to use tables. 
46. Which state is called the land of pencils? Pennsylvania.
47. What is the longest word in the dictionary? RUBBER BAND—Because it stretches.
48. Why was the clock called to the principal’s office? For TOCKing too much in class.
49. What do elves do after school? GNOMEⁱ work. 
50. Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
51. What kind of chocolate do you find in airports? PLANE chocolate.
52. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
53. Why was school easier for cave people? Because there was no history to study! 
54.  Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Because it was always sweeping during class. 
55. A man dug a tunnel out of jail and came up on a preschool playground. “I’m free! I’m free!” he yelled. “Big deal,” said a little boy. “I’m 4.”
56. What do Santa’s elves do in school? Presentations! 
57. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! 
58. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Pop quizzes.
59.  What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? He has only one pupil. 
60. If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have? A delicious fruit salad. 
61. What did the stressed out dog say to his therapist on the first day of school? “I’ll be blamed for eating homework again once school starts!”
62. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” 
63. Why don’t fish go on vacation? Because they’re always in a school.
64. What flies around the school at night? An alpha-bat.
65. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi.
66. What do you do if a teacher rolls their eyes at you? Pick them up and roll them back.
67. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing? A bookworm.
68. What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together? They had a big class trip.
69. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? Stop going in circles and get to the point.
70. Why was the egg thrown out of class? Because it kept telling too many yolks!
71. Why couldn’t the skeleton go back to school? His heart just wasn’t in it.
72. Why did the glue stick get in trouble in school? It couldn’t stick to the rules.
73. Why did the teacher start a gardening club? To help students grow.
74. What do elves learn in school? The elf-a-bet.
75. What contest do skunks win in school? The smelling bee.
76. What do you call the hamburger school dance? The meat ball.
77. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate? Skydiving school.
78. What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
79. What happens when two giraffes collide together? A giraffic jam.
80.  Why are pirates called pirates? Because they Aaarrrr!
81. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
82. Why do we never tell jokes about pizza? They’re too cheesy!
83. Two biscuits crossed the road, one got ran over, what did the other one say? Oh Crumbs!
84. How do you make a sausage roll? Push it down a hill.
85. Why do birds fly South for the Winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
86. Why don’t ants catch the flu? Because they have tiny anti-bodies.
87. Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom? Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
88. Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yoke.
89. Why do basketball players like cookies? It’s another excuse to dunk.
90. Why is ice cream so bad at tennis? They have a soft-serve.
91. Knock Knock. Who’s there?
    Fran.Fran who?
    Fran-tic on the first day of school.
92. Knock Knock. Who’s there?
    Gracie.Gracie who?
    Gracie about my new teacher.
93. Knock Knock Who’s there?
    Felix. Felix who?
    Felix-cited about the new school year.
94. The teacher was angry about the kid-napping in school, but it is fine now. He woke up.
95. Why was the teacher cross-eyed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
96. Did you hear about the science teacher who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen. 
97. What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
98. How do you find a cheetah in the dark? Use a spotlight.
99. Why are shopping centers boring? Because if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the mall.
100. Why did the pasta go to the dermatologist? It had a big ziti.

Ready to Make the First Day of School a Little Funnier?

And there you have it! With these funny school jokes, it’s easier for parents and teachers to engage with kids, using humor to tackle the first day of school. We hope these back to school jokes will make your child’s first day a little less serious and add a few giggles to their day.