I was at a birthday party last weekend and a friend came to me with a compliment for Little M. He sat quietly and listened as she guided his 2-year-old and the 3-year-old birthday girl through an argument. He was impressed by the words she used, her ability to nail down the problem and the guidance her 6-year-old self was able to offer.
By the time he was finished describing the event I was already beaming. He ended the compliment with one for me. He told me that we are doing a great job. Bravo to us. The acknowledgement was very much appreciated but the truth is I was patting myself on the back half way through our conversation.
I knew what she was doing. Conflict resolution, something I learned long before Little M came on the scene. We have used conflict resolution since M and M were old enough to talk. I know it works, I know it’s worked with them… but still it was nice for another parent to see it too. To see her in action.
After a couple of days the thought of our conversation made me smile again. I realized that this summer has been crazy, I haven’t taken the time I normally do to really appreciate where the kids are. I haven’t taken the time to applaud the job we are doing as parents. How many of you are with me on that?
I figure I am not the only one. So I want to challenge you to take a minute and think about what you have done right. What awesome trait shines in your little ones? The ones that scream (or rather whisper) “My Mom taught me that!” or “It’s because my Dad took the time to show me!”
If you’re tired, overwhelmed, ready to click away… don’t. If the answer doesn’t flip off your tongue, then it deserves some thought. You deserve to know the answer. What are you doing right???
It’s so easy to think of what we could have done better or what we missed. That can help us grow for sure, but acknowledging what is working will give you the motivation to stay strong and enjoy this important job.
What are you doing right? Don’t know? Ask! Ask your spouse, your Mom, your sister, your bestie… your kid. I bet the answer will come easily to them.
Tell me here or on Facebook or on Google+. Just make sure you shout it out. I AM DOING IT RIGHT!
Thank you for this post! I think it’s hard for all moms to acknowledge (especially publicly) what we are doing right. We are worried that others will see it differently – or at least I am. I am proudest that we are teaching our 2 year old boy to be gentle and empathetic. Occasionally, my husband and I worry that we are not teaching him to be assertive enough (and maybe we aren’t), but he is kind and gentle and loving. That is where we will start and, as opportunities come along for a need to assert himself, we will cover that then. Thanks again for your post!
Gentle and empathetic are fantastic qualities! Thank you for sharing!!!