107 Funny Fish Jokes for Kids and Adults PRINTABLE

Vacation is coming near, and we want our kids to enjoy it as much as we do. So here’s a collection of fish jokes you can enjoy and add to your gill-ty pleasure.

For more water fun, check out some of our other joke collections: shark jokes, beach riddles, and beach jokes.

Funny Jokes About Fish 

These fish jokes are great for a trip to the lake or aquarium or even admiring your fish tank.

• How do you talk to a fish? – You drop it a line!
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fsh.
• Why are fish so easy to weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
• What kind of fish only comes out at night? – A starfish.
• How do shellfish get to the hospital? –  In a clambulance.
• Why don’t fish like basketball? – Because they’re afraid of the net!
• Where does a fish keep its money? – A riverbank.
• What’s the fastest fish in the lake? – A motor-Pike.
• Why did the fish get bad grades? – Because it was below sea level.

What day of the week do all fish dislike the most? – Fryday.

• ​Why do fish swim in schools? – Because they can’t walk.
• Where can you find a fish in orbit? – Trouter space!
• Did you hear about the oyster that went to the ocean disco? – He pulled a mussel.
• Why did the vegan go along on the fishing trip? – Just for the halibut.
• What did the fish say when he saw an old friend that that he hadn’t seen in ages? – Long time no sea.
• Where do fish go to borrow money? – A loan-shark.
• What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? – Swimming trunks.
• Why do fish live in salt water? – Because pepper makes them sneeze!
• What’s the fish that makes this sound “ shhhhhhhhhhhhh”? – The fried fish.

• What did the fish get on his math test? – A sea plus.
• How many tickles will it take to make an octopus laugh? – Ten-tickles.
• Why don’t fish like basketball? – Because they’re afraid of the net!
• What do fish take to stay healthy? – Vitamin Sea.
• Why did the fish blush? – Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
• Why aren’t there every any job openings at the fish company? – They’ve been scaling back.
• What do whales have for dinner? – They eat fish and ships!
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? – Fisually impaired
• What did one fish say to the other? – Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.
• Why are fish more clever than people? – Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?

Related post: Chicken Jokes for Kids and Boat Jokes for Kids

• How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? – Clamouflage!
• Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? – The bobber shop.
• How can you tell the puffer-fish had too much salt at dinner? – He’s looking blow-ted
• Why was the shark angry about leaving the restaurant early? – Because he couldn’t even fin-ish his meal.
• What did the Mum shark say to the kid shark? – Watch that sharkasm, young man!
• What do fish use to help them hear? – A herring aid!
• Which musical instruments can catch fish? – Castanets!
• Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark? – He only had two worms.

Fish Dad Jokes

Dad jokes are so silly they make you roll your eyes. These dad jokes about fish are guaranteed to get a groan from the kids.

• What would you call a fish wearing a tie? – So-fish-ticated.
• What do you think is a pirate’s favorite fish? – Swordfish.
• Where do fish sleep? – On the riverbed.
• What do fish take to stay healthy? – Vitamin Sea.
• Why are fish boots so warm? – They have electric eels!
• What did the fish dating guru say to the hopeful sea bass? – “If you’re going for roe-mance, you’ll want to consider the caviar.”

Knock-knock Fish Jokes

Everyone loves a good knock-knock joke. Especially a fish knock-knock joke.

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Bless you!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Artie Fish. Artie Fish who? Artie Fish-el Intelligence. 
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Fish-ious temper you have there, you need to clam down!

Jellyfish Jokes

And if you love jellyfish, these jellyfish jokes are just for you.

• What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich? – A jellyfish.
• What is the most envious fish? – The jelly-fish.
• Have you heard the one about the jellyfish? – It’s a real no-brainer.
• What language do jellyfish speak? – Gelatin.
• What car does a jellyfish drive? – Invertible.

Salmon Jokes

• What do you call a religious fish poem? – A Psalmon.
• What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? – You get salmonella.
• What is a fish’s favorite game? – Salmon Says!
• Why don’t salmon watch cable television? – They prefer streams.
• What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example? – A roe model.
• Why will fish never take responsibility? – Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
• What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light? – I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.

Tuna Jokes

• What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? – You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
• What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? – Autotuna.
• What game show do fish love the most? – Name that tuna!
• What’s better than a tuna sandwich? – A three-na sandwich
• How do fish find their way in the dark? – They follow the light tuna.
• What tv show starring Charlie Sheen do all fish love? – Tuna-half men.
• What did one fatty tuna say to the other? – “We’re in this together, toro and toro.”
• What do you call a singing fish? – A tuna.
• What do you call a fish with two legs? – A two-knee fish.

Catfish Jokes

• What kind of fish eats mice? – A catfish.
• Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean? – He thought he saw a catfish.
• What do you use to catfish on the Internet? – You have to use clickbait.
• What does a catfish chase after? A string ray!

Clownfish Jokes

• What did the shark say after eating a clownfish? – That tasted a little bit funny!
• Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got near the coral reefs? – They saw a clownfish.
• What is a clown fish’s favorite artist? – Eminemone.

Cod Jokes

• Who granted the fish’s wish? – The fairy cod mother!
• What’s the head of the underwater mafia called? – The Codfather.
• What did the fisherman say to the magician? – Pick a cod. Any cod.

• What’s a fisherman’s favorite video game? – COD.
• What did the pet fish say when the cook served fish steak for dinner? – Oh my Cod!

Goldfish Jokes

• What do you call a fish with lots of money? – A goldfish.
• Where do goldfish love to travel? – Usually just around the globe.
• What is the most valuable fish you can catch? – A goldfish.
• What did the goldfish say when he got fed? – Tank poo.
• How do you make a goldfish old? – You take away the g.
• Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? – Now he’s a bronze fish.

Bass Jokes

• What do you call a fish that won’t shut up? – A big-mouthed bass.
• What do you call a fish that is not smart? – A dumb bass.
• What kind of music do fish love to rave to? – Drum and bass.

Bait Jokes

• What’s worse than reading a clickbait title? – Clicking on it.
• What type of fish should you use to catch other fish? – Beta fish.
• Why couldn’t the troll catch any fish? – Because other people took the bait.
• How do you catch a Swedish fish? – With a gummy worm as bait

Flying Fish Jokes

• What do you call a fish on a plane? – Flying fish.
• What’s a pelican’s favorite sport? – Fly fishing!
• Where does a fish end-up when it flies? – A magic carp.

Fisherman Jokes

• What did the fisherman want? – A gillfriend.
• What did the fisherman say to his friend while fishing? – He was feeling fin-tastic.
• What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? – Let minnow if you get any.
• What kind of musical instrument can a fisherman easily play? – Ac-cod-ian.
• Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? – To the bobber shop.

Funny Fish Puns

• If you’re going for roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
• When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
• The first book of the fish bible is called Craytion.
• Surfing the net is great, unless, of course, you’re a fish.
• Cod this be any punnier?
• If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow!
• I made some fish tacos last night. They just swam right past them

Share your favorite funny fish jokes in the comments.

For more giggly fun, check out these books:

• Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• Laugh-out-Loud Jokes for Kids (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link
• National Geographic Kids Just Joking (check it out on Amazon here) – Affiliate link